Friday, January 22, 2010

Bring It! January 22, 2010

The Original Fag Hag isn’t for everyone.

I’m often the odd gay man out, on both sides of the fence. I’ll never be fully assimilated into Castro culture (though I’m as fully assimilated as anyone without a penis could be), and I’m not really accepted or acceptable among straight folk, either.

I’m not only fine with this, I live for this, and the people who are nearest and dearest in my life are the ones who really “get it.”

My life story is pretty much “Love me, Love My Gays.” It’s simple, and surprisingly subversive. Explaining it to everyone who asks is the best way I know to become a fully self-actualized gay.

One of my favorite ways to break down barriers and stereotypes is to just put myself out there. Right in the middle of things, exactly where I supposedly don’t belong.

I’m basically a size queen when it comes to the huge pride I take in being part of groups that normally wouldn’t have me. The Real Bad Working Group that puts on this city’s finest leather party of the year is one example. Another is Castro Dads, the gay parenting group I recently joined in my own version of the sitcom Modern Family.

Nasty, my monthly “fun-raiser” for the AIDS Emergency Fund at The Powerhouse, has gone a long way toward helping me earn my Gay Card. Many actual gay men are intimidated by such a notorious leather bar, which is exactly why I was enticed by hosting a party there. And Friday, February 5, is going to be the gayest Nasty yet, with Wrestling Night sponsored by’s Naked Kombat.

My mostly-straight boyfriend and my mostly-gay F-buddy will be pinning each other for the cause, and this “Battle for The Nasty Girl” perfectly dramatizes everything I love about being gay. In the words of my friend Michael Smith, the talented photographer who makes the Nasty magic happen on each month’s poster, I just don’t have the same problems as other people.

Damn straight. Or not!

Tell me in your own words why you love being gay at

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