Suzan Revah

Daddy's Suzan's Bucket List

2011-05-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Given that I moved to San Francisco to make a career of being the most dedicated fag hag I can be, there isn’t much I haven’t done or seen. My “bucket list” of experiences no other girl has ever had has dwindled away, with the exception of gaining entry to Blow Buddies or Steamworks. (It’s not like I haven’t tried, trust.)

I’ve been to the legendary Black Party, I host a monthly party at the infamous Powerhouse, I’m part of the working group that produces Real Bad, and I even hold a leather title of my own (Miss Heart Throb 2010), thanks to the Castro Lions. But there is one event that still qualifies as fantasy territory for me, and when I attend my very first International Mr. Leather in Chicago this Memorial Day weekend, I’ll know I’m legit.

In my mind, it’s like Disneyland meets Tom of Finland – a major city teeming with bulging biceps and baskets, daddies and slaves, tops and bottoms (bottoms and liars, more likely, but I digress). That I’m attending at the invitation of porn pimp Ricky Sinz, to perform at the Sunday night War Party at V Live with two great friends, Joanna Parks and Race Cooper, at a party where “godfather of house” Frankie Knuckles will be the DJ? I die.

I’ve heard people say that this 32-year-old event ain’t what it used to be, but what is anymore? People say this kind of thing about many of the parties I hold dear as a veteran lover of gays, but any event is exactly what you make of it. The payoff depends on whether and how you personally bring it.

I’ll be keeping company with the boys from Dungeon Beds, Mr. S Leather and Folsom Street Events, so I have no doubt that our party-within-a-party will always be the place to be. I’ll be dancing more than fucking, and I know I’ll be inspired by the eye candy. I’ll be spreading the spirit of San Francisco, and showing due respect for the gay “old guard,” for which I consider myself head cheerleader. I may have girly bits rather than manhood in my leathers, but Daddy Suzan loves her leathermen just as much as the next guy.

If we’ve never met, please come introduce yourself at Forsaken on Friday night at the Jackhammer. We can giggle over my favorite game of “I’m gayer than you are” and watch leather history unfold and evolve. Wouldn’t it be amazing if San Francisco took home the IML title for the first time since 1992? I’ll do everything I can to support Mr. SF Leather 2011 Darren Bondy, and to bring some tales of the city to and from the Windy City.

This is just how we do

2011-04-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

“Only in San Francisco” is a phrase we hear a lot here in Oz. It’s a point of pride, the defining feature of our beautiful bubble.

Even when we’re trying to be conventional, relatively speaking, we end up doing things our own way. We can’t help it.

Easter in Dolores Park, for example, is a perfect representation of San Framily values. Whether you “observe” the holigay by bringing your gayby to the egg hunt, tricking out a bonnet, or rocking a loincloth in the Hunky Jesus contest, there’s something for everyone, because that’s just how we do. Some may call it crude mockery, but religious intolerants target San Francisco values every day, so I say hooray for the one day where we make them the punch line and have Jesus our way.

“Family-friendly” is always relative when it comes to San Framily. More often than not, it’s about our chosen family. Our lovely lives are exactly what we make of them, because this is the freedom our fair city affords, even if most of us can barely afford to live here.

Another place I love to see this on display is at Flagging in the Park, a party and fundraiser in a majestic natural venue (the National AIDS Memorial Grove) that honors those tragically lost with a colorful celebration of life. The event glorifies a uniquely gay art form born under the disco ball, providing pure and life-affirming entertainment while welcoming everyone to sacred ground.

The way we play here by the bay is a religious experience. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence bless these events, and make saints of people like Xavier Caylor, who has been producing Flagging in the Park since 1996 and teaches a weekly flagging class at Gold’s Gym SOMA to keep the flow arts alive. A new season for this party begins on May 15 with DJ Craig Gaibler, who has graciously tapped the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy as beneficiary.

We party with purpose in San Francisco, and it sets us apart from other gayborhoods across the globe. We set our intention, and then we realize it, fully. Fruit-fully! We get our gay on as hard as we can, and we don’t apologize. We don’t need to, because more often than not, we’re giving something back to our community at the same time.

That’s my intention with Nasty, my “filthy fun-raiser” at The Powerhouse on first Fridays (please come on May 6!). While the entertainment there is decidedly more adult, we still manage to keep it silly yet significant, taking donations for Project Inform in Crisco cans by playing a game called STICK IT IN!

When we’re doing good by being bad, we’re living the San Francisco dream, bringing it in ways that constantly remind me of why I love my gays.

Bring It: April 13 2011: Reflecting white

2011-04-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Reflecting on the White Party Palm Springs is like experiencing a hot new remix of moments and memories, scenes that affirm all the ways my gays bring it – to the dancefloor, to each other, and to life.

Every circuit party has its own alchemy. The music and the mood have everything to do with the experience, but so do the people that form your peripheral vision and your perspective under the disco ball. When fabulous friends create your party-within-a-party, everything is bliss.

The comfort of knowing you’ll see sincere smiles and familiar faces counts for a lot when words are drowned in beats. Little gestures, happy coincidences, and silly scenes are the foundation of what often turn out to be long-term relationships. These relationships can seem fleeting and shallow to the uninitiated, but love on the dancefloor runs deep and wide.

We may not even know one another’s names, but we know that our hearts beat to the same tribal drum. I know I’d never survive a weekend marathon like the White Party without my nearest and dearest.

There’s the water angels that deliver hydration for those (like myself) that don’t have the good sense to occasionally leave the dancefloor. There’s the shutterbugs that document our dreams, populating our profiles with glimpses of glamour. There’s the screamers (like me), along with the fist-pumpers and twirlers, that move our spirits and keep us bouncing. (This is where Brasilians are essential!).

Then there’s the nonverbal embrace from those who sidle up into your groove or let you sidle up into theirs, content with just swaying and snuggling from one song to the next. And there’s also the reliables, the trustworthy souls who confirm their commitment by buying tickets in advance, or carrying your keys, or holding you up when your energy or swirl can’t do it for you.

All are true friends, with big hearts and genuine intentions.

My addiction to dance is what drives me to drag all my friends to the dancefloor weekend after weekend, and it’s what brought me back to the White Party for the third year in a row. Never wanting to miss a beat and always wanting to support the DJs and promoters who fuel my circuit fantasies is why I can’t ever say no.

I hope that part of what I’m bringing to the party is gratitude for the special roles my San Framily fill. And I’m especially thankful that when the party is over and the glitter has (mostly) washed off, my circuit sisters are still present and real in my “real” life, helping me find balance and happy harmony as I search for new and inspiring ways to love my gays.

Bring It: March 31 2011: Rites of spring, rites of passage

2011-03-31T12:00:00.000-07:00

There’s something about White Party Palm Springs that keeps me coming back. It’s a rite of spring and rite of passage. It’s hard to think of a more definitively, quintessentially gay getaway.

On the one hand, the journey we take and the road trip we endure makes me feel like I’m starring in my own version of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, with the finale being an over-the-top display of glitter and glamor.

On the other hand, there’s an aspect of it that feels like a spiritual pilgrimage. It’s a sacrament of survival that gathers queens from all over, to groove under the sweltering sun and form a swishy sweat lodge.

It’s a gayer version of Burning Man, in a considerably more comfortable desert than the Black Rock Playa. I’ve heard Palm Springs called the Gay Retirement Village, and it’s no wonder. The essence of the experience is tanned and trim, rested and relaxed.

Living over the rainbow in San Francisco, we have every opportunity in the world to get our gay on, but it isn’t often that we get the sublime joy of dancing in the open air. Sure, we do everything “out in the open” in a metaphorical way, but a circuit party that takes place on a fairground in the middle of town is an affirmation all its own. It’s why I never miss the chance to get my dance on at Dore Alley or the Folsom Street Fair, and it’s also why I flock to the dick deck of an Atlantis cruise time and time again.

When I was just a baby fag hag, I remember imagining the White Party as gay heaven in a faraway land: beautiful boys, the aesthetic unity of everyone in fabulous white costumes, celebrities in the mix, and nothing but smiles with dancing for days. Now that I’m in the mix myself, I’m still pretty star-struck, especially at the Sunday T-Dance, when the sun sets poetically over our disco tribe, and dusk gives way to an explosion of colorful fireworks overhead.

I’m amazed that a seasoned circuit queen like me still sees magic in this seasonal celebration, and I hope I never get over it. Won’t you meet me there and help me live the dream of creating poetry in a picture-perfect moment? It’s one of my very favorite ways to love my gays.

Bring It: March 18, 2011: Let’s hear it for the girls

2011-03-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

I have to laugh that it takes the annual “girly issue” of Gloss to remind me that I’m a girl and not actually the gay man I think I am.

My insistence that I’m not like all the other girls tends to flare up when I’m faced with purses and heels and free-flying hair on the dancefloor. Another funny reality check comes every once in a while when I’m, say, in the men’s bathroom line at the club, and some well-intentioned boy will say something like “Are you having fun tonight? How does it feel to be the only girl with a bunch of gay men?” I try hard not to sneer when I respond with something like “Are you from out of town?”

As a fully immersed and entrenched fag hag, gay men have been my best girlfriends for as long as I can remember. But every gay man needs a wingman, and that’s where I’ve gotta give it up for Joanna Parks, my boo, my BFF, my “nonsexual life partner.”

You might know her as “the other girl” on the dancefloor, and there’s real comedy in how often we get confused for one another by good-hearted gays who apparently think all girls look the same.

Joanna is my true circuit sister, and she’s always been there for me as I’ve pushed my way through the gay glass ceiling. Together, we’ve gone everywhere that no girl has ever gone before, and neither of us would change a thing about our lifestyle. It’s not that we hate girls, we just love our gays more.

There does come a time, though, when there’s no substitute for having my girly by my side. Joanna and I call that time “dick o’ clock,” when the vibe in the club changes from “let’s party” to “let’s fuck,” and the music changes from “let’s dance” to “let’s get the fuck out of here.”

It’s a time when girls need to get gone, and I take pride in knowing when a girl needs to make herself scarce. If you ever see me in the back room, I promise it’s just a drive-by to hand out condoms, or to tell one of my boys he’ll need his own ride home.

One of these days I’ll take my homosociology on the road and find my way to The Dinah in Palm Springs to see what the girly equivalent of dick o’ clock is. But for now, Joanna and I are gearing up once again for White Party Palm Springs, to be wingmen to all our girly boys, and to cheer alongside them for girls like Robyn, Zoe Badwi, Alexis Jordan and Wynter Gordon.

If it wasn’t for gays loving their girls, we’d be nowhere at all, so let’s hear it for the girls!

Bring It: March 4, 2011: We Were Here

2011-03-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while the universe shows us the way. In my case, it showed me how and why to be gay.

Attending the recent Castro Theatre premiere of We Were Here, a documentary that reflects on the arrival and impact of AIDS in San Francisco, I was reminded why I was essentially “born this way.”

I lost my virginity, discovered the gay dancefloor and learned about a disease called AIDS all in the same year, 1985. Just as I started to appreciate sexual freedom and gay pride, everyone around me started dying and condoms became mandatory.

I felt robbed, and an activist was born.

Growing up in Washington, DC, it was easy to get involved, and while most kids my age were on sports teams and in theater groups, I was volunteering at ACT UP and marshalling the first AIDS Walk. AIDS charities have been a constant in my life, and I remember that just before I realized my lifelong dream of moving to San Francisco, I witnessed the last time the AIDS Memorial Quilt was displayed at the National Monument. It had grown so large that it could no longer fit in a single location.

Taking a look back at our history, it’s amazing what we’ve accomplished. We’ve come so far so fast – with the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and marriage equality slowly but surely becoming law – it’s easy to forget the depth of our struggle and loss.

What we can’t forget is that prevention is still the only cure. I worry that this gets lost among the medical and policy victories we’ve gained, and that the generation growing up gay now doesn’t realize that AIDS, for better or for worse, has defined our community and given us reason to rally.

There’s still work to be done, and I’m incredibly proud to be part of the “San Francisco model,” that continues to lead the way. As I celebrate the 2nd anniversary of my monthly fundraiser at The Powerhouse, I’m grateful to have my inspiration and motivation reignited by this poignant film, and I appreciate anew the importance of organizations like AIDS Emergency Fund and Project Inform.

Of the millions of reasons why I love my gays, our dedication to mobilizing our talents and helping our own and giving back to our community top the list. And until there’s a cure, I’ll continue acting up and carrying on, in hopes of honoring those who were here and those who sacrificed their lives along the way.

Bring It: We Are Blessed

2011-02-19T12:00:00.000-08:00

I’ve only been back on land a few days following Atlantis Events’ amazing Allure of the Seas 20^th anniversary cruise, and my withdrawal symptoms are already severe.

It’s hard to describe how perfect life aboard the Allure was, and how intensely real the feeling of community was at sea. Where else in the world do 5,500 sexy seamen come together with such sincere smiles and such pure intention to play nice together and make the best of every magical moment?

The scale and scope of the largest gay cruise in the world was daunting, and while the logistics and venues on the ship weren’t always flawless, the vibe and spirit certainly were. From the epic T-dances in the Aqua Theater to the Studio B dancefloor that was packed until well after dawn each day, the cruise far surpassed my expectations.

Maybe it was because my San Framily was heavily represented on the “dick deck,” or maybe it was because this third cruise for me was the charm in terms of knowing how to prepare and pace myself, but I was repeatedly blown away by the sense of love and privilege everyone seemed to be taking so deeply to heart. The cruise was sold out for nearly a year before we embarked, and by the time we finally set sail, everyone was set on making it the experience of a lifetime.

When you dance around the clock for seven days and barely stop to eat or sleep, it’s hard to even remember, much less select, a list of highlights. But I was literally brought to tears by one spontaneous expression that sums up the sublime joy of the journey. At the “Final Rinse” T-dance, a group of guys did flip cards on a terrace high above the crowd. “My chosen family” was the first message, and the last was “We are blessed.”

Blessed indeed. The gay world has come a long way in 20 years, and the Allure of the Seas was the best representation I’ve seen of living proud and out loud, with full appreciation of common cause and hard-won victories. Anthems like “I’m Coming Out” and “We Are Family” took on new meaning as we celebrated the freedom and joy of such a validating voyage, and I know I’ll never forget the feeling of being totally satisfied and totally at peace with my Love My Gays lifestyle.

Bring It: January 19, 2011: The Gay Standard

2011-01-28T08:17:00.000-08:00

As I’m about to embark on the largest gay cruise in history (Atlantis’ 20th anniversary Allure of the Seas), my every waking thought is about high queens on the high seas.

The amount of planning, organizing and purchasing (not to mention grooming and starving!) going into this gaycation is more than a little bit daunting, but there’s no doubt in my mind that it will be more than worth it.

The gaytopia of what I lovingly call The Dick Deck is hard to overstate. It’s life as it should be for anyone who loves their gays, and that’s saying a lot coming from the gay capital of the universe. The gay agenda is proudly on display 24/7 (along with 6,000 men in speedos!), and it really is a beautiful sight to behold.

I love my gays for always wanting to make everything beautiful, whether it’s the coordinated costumes for all the theme parties or the idealized vision of “the way we play,” with silly poolside games, dramatic shows and customized trick cards so you can remember all the friends you made along the way.

I often refer to “The Gay Standard” as the reason why I always felt like an outcast among straight people. Gayer is simply better, and it’s because of the intention and energy that go into making it so. It’s no accident that arts and design and lifestyle professions are dominated by high queens who insist on making everything just so.

Whether it’s my fabulous hairstylist Gib at G.H.Bolton, or my gorgeous Brazilian trainer Carlos Mandacaru at Sessions Training Center, I’ve had a lot of help and inspiration building this beautiful life I’m living. I’m bursting with excitement about sharing it with the Men of Atlantis, who are coming from all over to experience something like San Francisco at sea.

Aside from the most beautiful version of our selves that we’ll have on display aboard the Allure, the San Framily will represent the inner beauty and palpable joy that’s possible when everyday life offers as much freedom as the open ocean. Because living out loud and proud is just how we marys roll along!

I won’t be writing Bring It! while I’m on The Love Boat, so this column will skip an issue, and I won’t be hosting Nasty at the Powerhouse on February 4, either. Even the hardest-working hag needs a break, and beautiful Walter Gomez will be making sure there’s still a chance to STICK IT IN for charity while I’m busy swooning over seamen.

Bring It: January 7, 2011: Set Your Intention for Harm-Reduction

2011-01-07T12:00:00.000-08:00

My gays have always taught me that “more is more, less is a bore.” While that’s certainly true with glitter, there’s also something to be said for moderation, and the excess of the holigays gave me an opportunity to practice something I’ve been preaching on the dancefloor for ages: harm-reduction.

The idea of harm-reduction is basically personal responsibility, but it’s also about taking care of our own. It’s a fine intention to set for the new year, and all it really requires is general awareness and a little bit of compassion.

We all love to test our limits. We’ve all felt the high from getting away with it, and we’ve all experienced the danger and humiliation of not knowing when enough was enough.

No one wants to have her head in a trash can or leave the club on a stretcher. A little empathy can go a long ways when you see someone melt down into a hot mess under the discoball, and it’s really not hard to just treat that person as you hope to be treated when it’s your turn to go too far. And if your turn never comes? All the better. You can thank that hot mess for reminding you why your last drink, bump, pill or whatever needed to be your last for a minute.

This is a situation where community really makes a difference. It’s a perfect moment to let go of judgment and extend yourself beyond your boundaries. More times than not, simply reaching out to someone who looks like they might be in trouble can shock that person back to their senses and pull them back from the brink of disaster.

It costs nothing to give someone a gentle nudge, look him in the eyes and ask sincerely if he is ok or needs help. I know I’d much rather get help from a circuit sister than from law enforcement, and many times an emergency medical situation can be avoided simply by telling someone they need to pull themselves together.

“Eyes open and upright” is a great rule of thumb, and dancing it out always makes for a better night than falling out. There really is safety in our numbers, and I hereby resolve that you can lean on me the next time your swirl goes south. It’s the least I can do in return for all the ways I love my gays.

Happy New Year!

Bring It: Many glittery blessings

2010-12-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

This might sound more Grinchy than glittery, but for me, the holidays are more of a ritual of survival than celebration.

Somehow, the sparkle of the season just doesn’t do it for me when the weather outside is frightful, and the constant temptation of sugar cookies and egg nog wreaks havoc on my circuit starvation diet.

Growing up Jewish certainly doesn’t help me appreciate reindeer games, and when winter and darkness arrive, the call of the disco ball is often overpowered by my inclination to be a bear and hibernate.

But this year is different, much to my surprise. When I recently attended “Light in the Grove” at the National AIDS Memorial Grove - a unique, stunning and solemn gala honoring so many who have given so much to the cause - I was reminded that giving is at the heart of the holidays.

I was also reminded that Christmas (I prefer to think of it as Xmas) is about appreciating our loved ones and counting our blessings, and for this I have Miss Donna Sachet to thank. While her Songs of the Season show benefits my favorite charity, the AIDS Emergency Fund, and while I was so honored to be invited by the empress herself (my personal hero), I really didn’t know how I’d respond to an evening packed with Christmas songs, which generally irritate me no end.

Not surprisingly, Donna stole the show, irreverently adapting the songs to fit her bubbly yet biting wit, and also her personal holiday narrative. Her tales from 18 years (!) of raising funds for AEF had me all choked up, and helped me get in the spirit, in spite of myself.

Typically, I reserve my holiday spirit for two of my favorite dance parties of the year, and this year I’m no less excited to attend both Black XXXmas on December 18 and Mass on January 2 (both at 1015 Folsom). It’s no secret that I’m a ho ho ho for DJs Abel and Jamie J Sanchez, and that I love nothing more than a leathery overlay to any kind of “traditional” holigay.

Which brings me to another surprise of the season, my very first Xmas tree! Normally I get all agro-environmentalist over the fallen trees that litter Christmastime, but I couldn’t help smiling like a kid on Christmas morning when a tree festooned with leather flags, rainbow tulle and enough disco balls to kill any queen showed up in the living room of my apartment, also known as The Home for Wayward Castro Boys. Thanks to Graig Cooper and Tod Epperson for bringing it!

As this year comes to a close, I’ll actually have some sappy sentiments moving my spirit on the dancefloor, and I’ll be sure to count my many glittery blessings. Getting to be the Original Fag Hag of San Francisco is a gift I never take for granted, and something I live to celebrate all year long.

Bring It: Finding religion on the mat and on the dancefloor

2010-12-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

I’m not a religious person, but with seasonal change and holiday rituals, I can’t help but reflect on where and how I find religion in this crazy life.

For me, the circle of life goes from reckless release under the discoball to reprieve and reflection on the yoga mat. When there’s balance between both, bliss is mine. When one or the other is neglected, even glitter can’t make me right.

On the dancefloor, divinity comes from the DJ. On the mat at Gold’s Gym Castro, it comes in the form of a goddess named Maria Stanford. Every Sunday morning she preaches to our gayborhood “church,” encouraging us to set an intention about whatever it is that we hold sacred.

I’m a true believer in what Maria describes as “prana,” or “life force.” It’s exactly what I’m seeking, whether I’m moving my body to the beat or getting grounded in downward dog.

Breathing hard, sweating hard, and manclimbing hard (like I do on the dancefloor) are what remind me that I’m alive and that life is damn good when you live over the rainbow in Oz. The music that moves my spirit is what some would call church music - anthems with a classic gay sound, upbeat and soulful, rooted in disco with vocals almost certainly derived from gospel choirs. My spiritual songs have themes about redemption and salvation.

In yoga, we learn about “energy work,” and everyone in the room can feel the vibe as we soak up the sense of communal connection that Maria inspires. On the dancefloor we refer to a tribal sensibility, with the beat moving us collectively as one, and lately it’s our local DJs – Craig Gaibler and Russ Rich, to be specific – that leave me feeling blessed by their beats.

When the connection is there - when the prana is flowing - it’s magical. A simple smile from the shirtless man on the yoga mat next to yours, or from the shirtless boy at the club who accidentally bumps butts with you, can turn what might otherwise be a mindless workout into a mystical revelation.

I live for these moments, for what DJs call “the nod.” A mutual recognition of the life force we share is the best kind of high, and I’m lucky enough to experience it regularly, with friends and San Framily that inspire me to keep bringing it as hard as I can.

Can I get an amen?

Bring It: November 5, 2010: Double Rainbows of Hope

2010-11-05T09:20:00.000-07:00

Typically, my multiple personalities veer toward corporate sellout vs. gogo dancer, or leatherman vs. drag queen, but a recent charity event I was so excited to attend had me of two minds in an entirely different way.

All glittered up at Project Inform’s Evening of Hope, I could barely appreciate the condom-coated fashion show that is the party’s signature. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the crisis behind the couture.

The champagne flowed freely, but the sobering message that kicked off the cabaret of Coco Peru made me feel more flat than fizzy. Decades later, we’re still talking about how prevention is the cure when it comes to HIV, and how, until there’s a cure, there’s catastrophe.

The number of new infections is beyond alarming, all these years of education and activism later. Despite our advances in medical science and social policy, the urgency remains. But then there’s the flip side.

AIDS is still rock bottom for bottoms, but when it comes to the fight for gay civil rights, we’re dominating tops, and there is no doubt in my mind that we are winning the war.

I can’t help but think there’s a connection. I suppose hope is born from the darkest places, and if it weren’t for the ferocious and flawless way our community has been forced to rally around our causes, the public dialogue wouldn’t even include phrases like “domestic partnership,” “marriage equality” or “civil union.” The closets would still be overflowing, along with the shame and self-loathing.

So as hopeless I feel sometimes about not even remembering a time before HIV anymore, there are still double rainbows of hope on the horizon.

In all the struggle for salvation from this plague that torments our beloved community, I can see clearly over the double rainbow. among my San Framily and all the righteous organizations that have risen up in arms to fight the good gay fight, what hasn’t yet killed us is making us “bigga, betta, harda, stronga.”

Our ballot initiatives here in San Francisco may earn us the “fruits and nuts” stereotype in the eyes of the rest of our ass-backward country. Yet our San Framilial intimacy with this fight has brought us together in a way that makes us a model to the haters that try to take us down. We’re definitely making progress and change. And quickly.

But just as I get impatient about how damn long I’ve been a sistah in this struggle, I find religion. Dan Savage, you are my savior. I’m holy rolling on your realness. Your keen gay wit and wisdom make you my hero of Alpha Gayness.

“It Gets Better” is the best thing we ever could have asked for. It’s the best possible representation of everything that’s good and right about the gayer and better life we have here in Oz. The message is simple and powerful. It’s one genius idea that delivers perfectly on Harvey Milk’s promise and plea, “You gotta give ‘em hope.” Thank you, Dan Savage, for giving hope to me and millions. Just like that.

I’m just so thankful to be living in the gayest city on earth. Even if enjoying and appreciating all that our beautiful little bubble gives me in return for loving my gays. It’s wearing me out before the holigay season even begins, but we just gotta keep on bringing it as best we can.

Bring It: October 22, 2010: Massive Masquerade

2010-10-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

The thing about being a circuit whore is that you end up eating your words all the time.

I’m not saying I’m full of…glitter, but just when I think I’m completely jaded, I realize that no, I just happen to live in the Emerald City of Oz. And just like in the movie, when we find ourselves at the end of the yellow brick road, we need green-tinted glasses “to protect us from the city’s brightness and glory.”

When costumes and fantasy and fierce alter-egos are part of your every day, it can be challenging to get geared up for Halloween, especially when it comes at the end of our long and ecstatically exhausting season of street fairs and holigays.

But just when I think I’m over it, I’m surprised again. And just when I think there’s nothing new under the sun, a double rainbow appears.

This year I’m crazy excited about Massive Masquerade at 1015 Folsom on Halloween night. So many of my favorite tricks and treats are coming together at once, I must shut my mouth about how Halloween in San Francisco is dead.

It may not be the mary mayhem the Castro once was, but with Industry and Gus Presents teaming up to deliver DJs Jamie J Sanchez and Russ Rich opening for remix masters The Freemasons, there’s just no way it won’t be absolutely epic.

And I’ll keep the Halloween spirit going into the next weekend, when Nasty: A Filthy Fun-Raiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund returns to The Powerhouse on Friday, November 5.

I thought I left my gothic darkness behind in high school, but my vampyre fetish returned along with True Blood. So please rock your party fangs and join me for “Vampyres Never Get Old” night. Halloween will be over, but I won’t be over it. We’ll celebrate the fact that, in San Francisco, it doesn’t have to be Halloween to dress up and play a part and be undead or glamorous or ridiculous – or all of the above - in the name of pure fun.

It’s actually more fun to bring it “just because.” Halloween or otherwise, there’s no place like home.

Bring It! October 8, 2010: The Circle of Friends

2010-10-08T12:00:00.000-07:00

When the party circuit that is my life starts to feels like an amazing race, I take heart in the circle of friends that keeps me running.

Whether you call your circle of friends your posse, tribe, mafia, entourage or San Framily, you know who they are. And while it’s hard to steal away enough time for even the occasional disco nap, it’s important to make enough time to reflect on the people who make up your circle of friends and what they really mean to you.

Together, we go through life’s ups and downs, ins and outs, and all the drama in between. Sometimes we’re there for each other in a big way, and sometimes not as much, but the circle always holds true.

Sometimes the people in your circle of friends make you crazy, but in return, they sometimes let you drive them crazy, too. Sometimes you go crazy together, and then you make everyone around you crazy by reliving those moments again and again.

There’s giggles and tears, hopes and fears, and there’s moments where you question everything and can’t make sense of anything. The nearest and dearest in your circle of friends tell you what you want to hear, and also what you don’t want to hear but need to hear anyways.

Your circle of friends is your reality check. Sometimes it’s comforting, and sometimes it’s confusing, but when you’re living the dream in the land of Oz, it’s priceless.

From the outside, your circle of friends might look like a silly circle jerk, but the reality is more like a sewing circle. By joining forces, we get things done, make a difference and process it all, and along the way we grow up, learn to get by and get better all the time.

In San Francisco, there’s no reason to choose between friends and family. They’re one and the same, and the San Framily model holds together a community that everywhere else in the world is under a microscope, if not under attack.

But San Framily values hold up against anyone’s moral code. In staying true to our selves, we gain the strength to be a force for what’s real and right in the world. When we have room and support to be good to our selves, we can be good to everyone around us, over the rainbow and beyond.

Bring It: September 23, 2010: Gay Standard Time

2010-09-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

There’s no time like Gay Standard Time, and that’s just another reason why I love my gays so hard. Just as there’s no one way to be gay, there really is no standard “gay time.”

People come out at different ages, and being out has various stages. The gay life cycle can be very different from “average,” but the gays of our lives also have their own special rhythm.

For me and much of San Francisco, the gay calendar year starts some time around the Oscars, Easter, or White Party. It builds momentum through Pride and then picks up pace through to Folsom weekend, which leaves us worn out and weathered.

The season changes somewhere in between Folsom and the Castro Street Fair, and allegedly our downtime begins, just in time for Halloween and then the “traditional” holidays.

I prefer holigays to traditional holidays, so while most people are organizing their Christmas ornaments and ringing in the new year, I’ll be planning group costumes and purchasing swimwear for the Atlantis cruise I’m going on in February.

Gay Standard Time is more like a law of nature than a time zone. There’s no set timeline for our rites of passage, and we’re more likely to mobilize or celebrate around the passage of laws than the passage of time.

Being gay is timeless, an organic and fluid approach to life that can profoundly surprise and delight, at any age. It’s never too late to go to your first circuit party or don drag, and it’s never too soon to become a fundraiser or join the gayby boom. And there’s no time like the present to start appreciating and questioning the legacy we leave by loving our gays, every day and every way.

As another huge year of gay goings on winds down, I’m looking forward to planting the seeds that will blossom come springtime, and to regrouping and recharging every time it’s the right time between now and then.

Bring It! August 27, 2010

2010-09-15T21:10:00.000-07:00

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and one gay’s night-on-the-town triumph is another’s tragedy.

It’s all relative, and it’s all a matter of perspective, especially when it comes to parties. It’s a subjective search for the perfect “swirl,” and we never know what’s going to make it just right, or when. But when it’s right, it’s SO right, and that’s what keeps us all returning to the dancefloor.

I’m always amazed by how differently people can perceive the same event. What sounds like pots and pans to me moves other circuit boys into a sweaty cardio craze. And when I feel like I’ve just “gone to church,” other boys are in line at the coat check, unable to escape the screaming divas fast enough.

We’re all hoping that tonight’s gonna be a good good night, but even when it’s off for me, I take comfort in knowing that somebody’s on an epic journey. I’m confident that I’ll get mine soon enough, and we all must be, because we just can’t stay away from the discoball. Like gay moths to the flaming flame.

And while we’ve all become experts at critiquing the music, venue and crowd at the parties on our own personal circuits, the experience isn’t really about any of those things nearly as much as it’s about feeling a sense of community.

The dancefloor is my happy hour, and I live for that thumpa thumpa the way a lot of people salivate before their first sip at cocktail time. A sappy theme song comes to mind, from “Cheers,” a show that begins, lives and ends at “the bar.” That concept is so straight, I could never really relate, but now it all makes perfect sense to me.

“Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name,” (even if we all call each other “sweetie” because we just can’t remember. “And you’re always glad you came.” Damn straight, come to think of it!

My friend Hysterica once told me that alcohol is for straight people. The boy bars of the Castro suggest otherwise, but the spirit of that comment rings true.

There’s a lot to toast in our town, which always offers more options to dance it out than a girls knows what to do with, and which more often than not delivers a sweet swirl. I may have Gatorade in hand when I drink “to life,” but the sublime joy of leaving behind life’s daily grind is just as sincere.

Cheers, Queers!

Bring It! August 13, 2010

2010-08-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Reinvention is a gay way of life. We revisit, revitalize and revolutionize. We do it with flair, and with feeling.

As a lifelong professional fag hag, it’s amazing that I’m still rediscovering the joys of being a gay man. Events, personalities and issues that I’ve seen time and again continually offer up pleasant surprises, fueling my passion for loving my gays as hard as I can.

Sundance is a great example. A blast from the past, boys by the bay have fond and frisky memories of bygone summer weekends spent on the Russian River. This time around, Sundance is new and improved, with a party bus that not only delivers us safely to nature’s dancefloor, but that creates an entirely new experience from a time-honored tradition.

Thanks to Past Curfew Productions and JuicyFruitJim Hauck, Sundance is now a woof-packed roadtrip, and getting to the party is nearly as much fun as the party itself. I can’t wait to get on the bus on Sunday, August 15, to celebrate and appreciate the promotion collaboration between Luke Johnstone and Gus Presents that brings us this highlight of the summer.

I’m also looking forward to Industry Local Talent Night on Saturday, August 21. Industry is a party that’s been around for years now, and I’ve watched it evolve into a signature of San Francisco’s dance scene. But that doesn’t mean it’s predictable. One month you’ll get circuit superstars like DJs Abel or Tony Moran, and another you’ll get the very best of our up-and-coming homegrown DJ talent.

I’m excited to perform in between DJs Russ Rich and James Torres, to a song remixed by DJ Jamie J Sanchez. I get to do hairography with my best boo Joanna Parks, and the ridiculously sexy Race Cooper. That a girl like me gets to play drag diva at a party like this - a favorite among the most hard-core and discerning men of the circuit - is a gift and a delight.

The very next day, I’ll be dancing it out in the AIDS Memorial Grove with DJ Christopher B at Flagging in the Park. I fell in love with this 15-year-old event when I went for the first time last month, to hear another great local talent, DJ Craig Gaibler. The vision of so many flaggers expressing themselves through such a purely gay art form, in such a poignant and lush venue, and while raising money for charity, was sublime. Big props to Xavier Caylor for producing this beautiful and life-affirming memorial.

And then there’s our ongoing battle to reinvent the tired and troubled institution of marriage. The smart and sassy NOH8 campaign played a huge part in repealing a measure that made discrimination the law, and I’m proud that San Francisco, the rightful gay capital of the United States, is the only locality involved in bringing this important battle to the Supreme Court. Most of all, I’m excited to see my gays revitalize and revolutionize marriage by doing it better than it’s ever been done before.

Ain’t that always the gay way?

Bring It! July 30, 2010

2010-08-11T11:26:00.000-07:00

As I struggle with one starvation diet after another trying to stay in step with the Castro’s seemingly endless supply of smooth and svelte circuit boys, I wonder if it isn’t time for me to go beyond being a mere Goldilocks and become a full-on bear.

Just like my drag mothers taught me everything I know about how to act like you’ve got the biggest balls in the room, I’ve learned important life lessons from my bear daddies. Internalizing hate and shame isn’t cute, and conforming for the sake of fitting in isn’t sexy.

The bears get a lot of things right when it comes to self-love. Endangered by the homonormative ideal that suggests survival of the fittest, they don’t just survive, they thrive.

I love that the bears have clawed out an accepting and comfortable niche in the gayborhood, adding a whole spectrum of wildlife to our beautiful rainbow. There’s muscle bears and dancing bears and Electronic Music Bears (oh my!), not to mention cubcakes. Subcategories like otters and wolves round out the party, and bear chasers are always welcomed.

Bear is a state of mind. It’s about owning and embracing the sense of self we carry on the inside at least as much as the self we present on the outside. It’s being comfortable in one’s own skin (or fur), and that’s a message our community can never hear enough, which is why bears are among my favorite San Framily mascots.

My bear boys never judge as I try to get by on Tic Tacs and glitter, and they protect me whenever I get grizzly. They cheer me on as I push my way into their bars, or into their territory on the Russian River, like I’m excited to do at Sundance next month.

Best of all, they graciously make room for me as I try to learn from them how to respect my own limitations. Keeping up with bears several times my size and weight has led to personal disaster on more than a few occasions, which keeps me mindful of just how strong and powerful these creatures really are, in addition to being so damned cute and cuddly.

Just something to bear in mind as we celebrate and appreciate those at the top of our gay food chain. Grr!

Bring It! July 16, 2010

2010-07-19T11:23:00.000-07:00

It’s a known fact that gays do everything right. Like a law of the universe.

As long as I’m with my gays, I know I’m in the right place. But maybe we make it look too easy to do everything right. A lot of the time, we’re victims of our own success.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the Gay Cycle of Success. The one in which the gender-fucking outcasts build themselves a glittery ghetto where they can feel safe and free. Then the fearless fabulosity of it all starts attracting the hipsters and edgy artists. Mainstreaming and gentrification begin. Sooner or later, everyone wants a piece of our puff pastry, and eventually the curious gawkers start acting like they own the place.

Halloween in the Castro comes to mind. What was once a glamorous gayborhood gathering exploded into mindless thuggery, and now it’s just a distant memory. And look what just happened to Pink Saturday. A celebration and affirmation of our community unraveled in the streets, senselessly, and likely will never be the same.

Instead of empowering our community, these events got overpowered, and the loss is palpable.

I hope that’s not the inevitable path of Up Your Alley. Like the street fair itself, I’m getting up there in the years, and I remember when it really was a dirty circle jerk in the alley, with no corporate sponsors or sound stages. It made me proud to be the only girl who would dare show up.

But it’s hard to keep a good thing to ourselves, and building community is ultimately vital and important, even if it’s not always pretty or pure.

I’m doing my best to embrace the political and social victory that results in our beautiful little rituals growing larger than life. And I’m trying not to hate on people who are late to the party. Intention and awareness is what matters, and as much as we love our San Fransexual bubble, acceptance doesn’t happen in a vacuum.

Here’s hoping some of you will still find some nooks and crannies to be extra-obscene at Up Your Alley, keeping it real and showing the rookies how it’s done when it’s done just right.

Here’s where I’ll be bringing it and getting dirty…

Friday, July 16

GhettoDisco with DJs Wayne G, Moto Blanco & Hawthorne

“Hags in the House” night celebrates the Original Fag Hag’s birthday

With Suzan Revah & Joanna Parks as your gogo hags

11pm-11am at Endup, 6th & Harrison Streets, Free before midnight

Saturday, July 17

Art Show: The Works of Keith Gaspari

With interpretive drag performances, installation art and more

5pm-10pm at The Cat Club, 1190 Folsom Street, $5 suggested donation

AND

Wet and Wild with DJs David Harness & Dr. Proctor

Wear your best nautical outfit

1151 Folsom Street, $3 before 10:30/$8 after

Friday, July 23

Full Throttle: A Dark and Sexy Fetish & Fantasy Experience

With DJs Craig Gaibler, Frank Wild, Hawthorne, James Torres & Don Tix

8pm-11am at Endup, 6 & Harrison Streets, $25/$35 or $20 after 2am

Saturday, July 24

Bay of Pigs with DJ Ted Eiel

10pm-4am at 525 Harrison Street, $30

Sunday, July 25

Up Your Alley

11am-6pm, on Dore Alley & Folsom Street

Stop by the REAL BAD booth and get tattooed by hot leathermen!

AND

PLAY T-Dance: Dirty Alley with DJ Joe Gauthreaux

Flirt. Frolic. Dance. (Recommended Gear: Blue Collar Grunge)

5pm-midnight at DNA Lounge, 375 11th Street, $20/$30/$35

www.playtdance.com

Another LGBT hero

2010-07-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

From the San Francisco Chronicle Datebook, Sunday July 11, 2010:

In response to Leba Hertz's request in the June 20 Pink for local lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender heroes, I'd like to tell you about one of my best friends. Suzan Revah has become a force of nature in San Francisco's LGBT community. From humble beginnings offering a weekly "Cruise Director Alert" e-mail to keep her several hundred closest friends up to date on the best dance venues, drag performances and other LGBT events, Suzan has become a local celebrity who knows how to find - or make - a good time.

Suzan has a penchant for performance, and she makes appearances on a regular basis at dance parties and other venues all over San Francisco, both as a go-go dancer and as a drag persona. Suzan prefers not to think of herself as straight but rather as a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She does her best to prove that assertion to everyone she meets.

Suzan is involved in many community charity efforts and currently produces a monthly fundraiser party for AIDS Emergency Fund called Nasty at the Powerhouse bar South of Market. Suzan is also part of the Real Bad XXII Working Group, supporting the production of the final dance party of Folsom Week, 7 p.m. Sept. 26 at Club 1015, 1015 Folsom St., San Francisco. (Tickets start at $80.) Real Bad is also a fundraiser, earning more than $150,000 annually for nonprofits that will be named later this year.

Suzan also offers support and love to the community through two Web sites: www.originalfaghag.com and www.lovemygays.com.

In San Francisco, given just how big the rainbow is, it may seem a little cliche to say that the LGBT community needs its straight allies, but from my point of view, and that of my many friends who love Suzan as I do, we are immeasurably enriched by her many contributions to our lives and the LGBT community in San Francisco.

Troy Arnold, San Francisco

Bring It! June 25, 2010

2010-06-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

My gays are my life support system, and I live to return the favor.

But when supporting good people and good causes takes the form of bar crawling or dancing all night, it’s easy to overlook just how much work that actually involves.

We’re all busy. We’re all overstressed and underpaid. And we all have too much to do and not enough hours in every day to do it, but that’s why it’s so special when your community rallies around you in a show of support.

My dear friend Jeremy Hough recently put it best: “If it’s always going to be this hard, then it better always be this good.”

That sentiment resonates for a lot of us in the gayborhood. There’s always an event, a party, a fundraiser, or a performance involving someone you know and adore, and we always have the best intentions when it comes to being there for the people we love and the things we care about.

Sometimes being so supportive hurts. It takes a toll on our wallets, our sleep, and our laughable attempts at moderation or restraint. And the flip side is the guilt that goes along with not supporting. Damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.

But the truth is, the kind of support we’re asked to show is cake compared to the rest of the world outside the bubble. When you’re gay in San Francisco, you NEVER find yourself saying things like “I don’t really get out much,” or “I’m so bored.”

None of us would be here if it weren’t for wanting to be involved, wanting to be counted, wanting to do things differently. Independence Day takes on a whole new meaning when we appreciate how being gay in San Francisco gives us the freedom to have more fun than we know what to do with.

Ours may not be a support system the rest of the world recognizes or accepts, but the realness is beyond question. Our style of support is also extremely effective, whether we’re elevating drag as an art form, fighting a disease, communing under a disco ball, or demanding equality.

This Independence Day, I’ll be celebrating how utterly dependent I am on my gays. They provide glittery fireworks every day and every way, and offer undying support as I bring it here and there trying to keep it real in the independent nation of San Francisco.

Bring It! June 11, 2010

2010-06-11T12:00:00.000-07:00

It’s not easy being gay. Our absolutely fabulous lifestyle requires more time and money than most of us can afford, and there’s a huge amount of pressure to be eternally fierce and flawless.

We live paycheck to paycheck with expenses such as glitter and champagne, and we go from one starvation diet to the next as we try to be Speedo-ready every weekend of the year.

Jet-setting from one dance party to another with no sleep in between can be exhausting. And so can having all the right photos at the ready for the various stages of cruising on Grindr.

Keeping up with all of the fun that goes along with being gay is impossible. You betta work!

When you’re gay in San Francisco, that’s our only real hardship. The Pride holigay has us all running around chasing rainbows, but in most of the rest of the world outside our beautiful bubble, it’s REALLY not easy being gay. There’s secrecy and scorn at best, discrimination and deadly violence at worst.

Even inside the bubble, we feel the government-sanctioned injustice of Proposition 8 and the denial of marriage equality. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell continues to chafe.

You don’t have to get very far outside San Francisco at all to feel and fear the hate thrown at LGBTQQs every day and every way, while we in Oz get to enjoy the comfort of rainbow flags flagrantly lining our city’s main street.

All the more reason why Pride is so important, and why we need to keep fighting the good gay fight that began when a brave and truly fierce drag queen took on the cops at Stonewall, starting our civil rights revolution 40 years ago.

Freedom is ours when our biggest problems as liberated gays are deciding which of all the Pride parties to attend and what to wear, but let’s not lose sight of what it took to get to this moment in history, and how far we still have left to go.

Being out and proud is my privilege, but it should be your undeniable right, so let’s continue to bring it and bring it hard as we celebrate all the ways it’s great to be gay. Happy Pride!

Bring It! May 28, 2010

2010-05-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

A word that seems to be buzzing in my ears lately is community. Maybe it’s just the rainbow-fueled kumbaya that sweeps over us every year around Pride – after all, we do live in the gayest city on earth! - but in all sincerity, I’m seeing and feeling community everywhere right now.

Take the Castro County Fair, an event that almost mocks traditional ideas about community, even as it reinvents and improves them. There in the midst of the pie contest and the two-stepping, Kink.com tours departed hourly, a spanking booth made its debut, and a climbing wall was scaled by drag queens in heels.

City Supervisor Bevan Dufty, our future gay mayor, bounced down an inflatable slide with his daughter before heading out to a chili cook-off for charity. I love how San Francisco turns conventional concepts inside out, rebelliously yet respectfully making them our own.

At Nasty, the fun-raiser I host on first Fridays at The Powerhouse, the close quarters make it a bar where everybody knows your name, but there’s an aspect of it that’s more like a church social. It is truly a community gathering, and we just happen to take care of our own by passing around Crisco cans instead of an offering plate.

San Francisco is a small town in all the best ways. We intentionally limit our worldview to the Castro and SOMA. And at some level, we really do know one another just from seeing each other “round the way.” We are all “six degrees of ejaculation” away from one another – it’s funny because it’s true - yet there’s a sense of security that comes from knowing each other so intimately, for better or for worse.

My favorite part of the word community is the last part: unity. Each of us, for our own reasons, has chosen to live inside this beautiful bubble. Collectively, we take pride in knowing that we’re really not like the rest of society. We willfully fear and shun the world beyond our borders, taking comfort in our glittery isolation.

Here in Oz, we have an endless supply of unique, quirky and proudly gay ways to commune with one another. Here’s where I’ll be trying to do just that next…

June 4 – Nasty at The Powerhouse
June 5 – Adonis with DJs Brett Henrichsen & Lee Decker at Club NV
June 6 – Marlena’s Dragathon and Flagging in the Park
June 12 – DJs Manny Lehman and Wayne G at Wonderland, LA Pride

Bring It! May 12, 2010

2010-05-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

I love getting twisted with my gays. In fact, the gay “twist” is why I love my gays so damn much. Anything and everything gets that much better when it’s gayer.

Since I was raised by circuit queens under a disco ball, I’m not the kind of girl you’d typically find two-steppin at a county fair. But the Castro County Fair, taking place in the Kink.com Armory on May 23, has me all excited about rockin my cowboy boots and hosting a good old-fashioned Kissing Booth for the AIDS Emergency Fund. (Please come by for a Brokeback-style smooch!) The best part, of course, is that there’s nothing traditional about it. With the gays, charity can be silly, naughty, and worthy all at the same time.

Like when I proudly accept the title of Ms. Heartthrob 2010 at The Eagle on May 27, an honor being bestowed upon me by the Castro Lions. Community service clubs like the Lions are probably pretty tame outside the gaytopia known as San Francisco, but here we’ll be raising money for Lyon-Martin Health Services with a “Big Ass Party” at a leather bar featuring gender-delusional musical entertainment.

And Memorial Day isn’t really a holiday that speaks to me personally, my respect for men in uniform notwithstanding. To my mind, it marks the beginning of summer more than anything, but thanks to the gay twist, it’s now a weekend I look forward to each year.

The holiday once known as “Decoration Day” (now that’s how to sell it to the gays!) kicks off on Friday, May 28, with Gay Day Great America, where I’ll be performing on Heklina’s Trannyshack stage and riding rollercoasters with my drag mama Charisma Glitteratti.

Saturday the 29th, I’ll be dancing it out at Ceremony with DJ Tony Moran (produced in perfect partnership by DJ Luke Johnstone and Gus Presents). And Sunday the 30th I’ll be doing a double-header (also a very gay concept!), at Fresh with DJ Manny Lehman followed by one of my very favorite parties of all, Sanctuary, this time with DJs David Knapp and Luke Johnstone.

Don’t get it twisted. I’m sure straight people think they’re having fun, too. But I say, if there’s a way to make it gay, then BRING IT!

Bring It! April 28, 2010

2010-04-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

When people ask me whether I’m gay or straight, the most honest answer I can come up with is that I’m San Fransexual.

I’m a girl who respects the Kinsey scale. I don’t see things as black or white, trying instead to appreciate every color of the rainbow in between.

Like when people ask whether I’m a top or a bottom. Of course I’m versatile, and I’m proud of it. Why choose one or the other, when you can have it all?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my gays, it’s that more is more and less is a bore. Sometimes there aren’t enough days in the week or nights in the weekend to squeeze it all in, but I do my best to be a versatile scene queen. In other words, I get around.

I wonder sometimes, how would I describe myself if I were putting together a personal ad for say, the back pages of this magazine? Circuit boy, for sure. Chaser of leather pigs, for sure. But I’m also a drag queen, a Goldilocks, a charity fag, and just a regular round-the-way Castro girl, among many other things.

This past weekend, for example, I performed with Trannyshack all-stars Raya Light, Precious Moments and Heklina at DNA Lounge. When I finally went to bed that night, I took one pair of false eyelashes off, only to replace them a few hours later with another pair (more butch and natural), for a photo shoot celebrating Nasty, my filthy fun-raiser at The Powerhouse on first Fridays, and the Castro County Fair on May 23, both of which benefit the AIDS Emergency Fund.

I didn’t even have time to change out of my cowboy boots and leathers before running off to the beer bust at Truck. Later that night, I took my problems to the dancefloor at Industry and unintentionally stayed until the sun came up. I slept in and (uncharacteristically) skipped my yoga church at Gold’s Gym, but still managed to spend a few hours sunning with the Speedo set on Boy Beach in Dolores Park, before rushing home for a conference call with my Real Bad brotherhood. And the weekend didn’t even end there, it ended at Fresh, where all of the gay glitterati gather under the discoball.

The beautiful thing is that this was a completely typical weekend in Oz, a slice of life and another chance to appreciate the versatility of my San Framily, which crosses over into every scene all the time.

Except for the straight scene, of course, but I guess everyone’s versatility has limits!

Here’s where I’ll be crossing over and bringing it next:

May 7 – Nasty at The Powerhouse, benefiting AEF (Country/Western night, celebrating the Castro County Fair)
May 8 – Action at Club Ei8ht with DJ Wayne G vs. James Torres, plus dabecy-emb upstairs
May 15 – Industry at Mighty with DJs Joe Gauthreaux and Luke Johnstone (Cherry night for The Disco)
May 16 – Palace with DJ Russ Rich at The Café

Bring It! April 14, 2010

2010-04-14T12:00:00.000-07:00

A huge circuit party weekend like White Party Palm Springs is an opportunity to take the beauty of our San Francisco bubble on the road, a chance to embrace and enforce our gayest groove.

Going on tour with San Framily is an extraordinary and unforgettable adventure. It brings us closer while letting us show the rest of the world’s gays how it’s done here over the rainbow.

Racing between a dozen parties in a single weekend, events unfold in random and rapid episodes, leaving no choice but to let go and go with the flow. That’s when the magic happens, despite the madness, and the song that followed me around the dancefloors of the desert says it best:

“Wait for the release, can ya feel the beat? It’s got me right down in my soul and I’m about to lose control.”

The extreme conditions and controlled chaos of the circuit create moments of inspired connection, moments that wouldn’t or couldn’t happen any other way. It’s these moments that keep us coming back to the ritual and release of the dancefloor, and what makes the circuit so life-affirming and so addicting.

“Release me. Set me free. Let the fire burn in me.”

Circuit weekends make my gay flame burn more brightly. When kindred spirits gather to spill their souls onto the dancefloor, a support system and safety net is being built, beat by beat. The disco brotherhood sets the stage for losing control, and for releasing yourself from the struggles of every day life.

Ultimately, life is about experience, and a circuit party weekend is an overwhelming one. The sweat lodge of sex, surrender, and survival is the best kind of sensory overload, and like with so many other things, gays do it better than anyone, with unmatched scale and style.

The circuit has a long history of making room in our busy, stressful lives for full self-expression and total freedom. As silly and shallow as it might seem to the uninitiated, the community of acceptance and belonging that releases itself under the disco ball refreshes and recharges.

The round-the-clock party puts your stamina and your sanity to the test, but the rewards are priceless. Like when you find yourself in a huddle of kisses with your closest friends while fireworks explode overhead, collectively howling at the moon and even weeping from unspeakable joy.

Before you’ve even washed off the weekend’s glitter, friendships are cemented and plans for the next circuit pilgrimage are made. Reality returns soon enough, but when you follow the yellow brick road back to Oz, you appreciate anew how we keep it real and keep it gay every minute of every day.

There’s a certain sense of security that comes from knowing we left our hearts in San Francisco, where there’s barely a weekend to rest before circuit superstars Ralphi Rosario and Abel, AKA Rosabel, take over Industry on April 24. And the very next day, on April 25, the Perry Twins will take over Fresh. But here in San Francisco we don’t even call that a circuit party, we just call it business as usual. As torn back as I feel after the excesses of the White Party, I still say, BRING IT!

Bring It! April 2, 2010

2010-04-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

The White Party is a gay pilgrimage of epic proportions, a long-standing ritual that gives gays from all over a chance to play the way we play in San Francisco every single day.

The supersized lineup of talent that convinced me to return to the desert with my Pussy Posse for a third time essentially warmed up right here in Oz. Hometown hero DJ Luke Johnstone kicks off the Palm Springs festivities with the Friday pool party, and thanks to his gift for bringing us the big names, we’re already well-rehearsed for all the heavy hitters who’ll be following him throughout the weekend.

Like DJ Abel, who is spinning at Friday night’s underwear party and was just here less than 2 months ago, tearing it up at Industry. Saturday’s main event is headlined by world-class remixers The Freemasons, who not only made their American debut here in San Francisco a year ago, but who turned it out last weekend at a packed 1015 Folsom.

That San Francisco sneak preview of The White Party was a perfect disco storm, with happy music, nonstop divas and anthems, and a united front of all our favorite fags smiling and dancing their hearts out in the same room. It was my idea of homo heaven.

Every circuit party should be an experience like that, and here in our little bubble by the Bay, we make that our reality, with regularity. That spirit is what I’m hoping to bring to Palm Springs, to share with all the boys who don’t have the luxury of living a year-round gaycation.

Much of the White Party entertainment reads like San Francisco’s greatest hits, with DJs Manny Lehman, Moto Blanco, Wayne G, and Tony Moran serving up our circuit soundtrack. All of them have passed through the gayest city in the world on their way.

What we don’t have in San Francisco is a chance to enjoy all this fun in the sun, which is what makes Palm Springs extra-special. Glitter just doesn’t have the same sparkle in the fog, so I’m especially looking forward to Sunday’s T-dance, where we can soak up the scene from atop the ferris wheel, bounce it out on the blow-up slide, and cheer to fabulous fireworks while Palm Spring’s straight-and-narrows observe us through the fence.

What a great way to celebrate just how happy we are to be gay in every way and every day. Bring it!

Bring It! March 19, 2010

2010-03-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about traveling the gay dance circuit is getting to represent on behalf of the gayest city in the world.

Whenever I venture to dancefloors beyond the bubble, I consider myself a proud San Francisco ambassador. The response I get reinforces that San Francisco is exactly the right place for a die-hard hag like me to call home, and validates that there really is no place like home, where every minute of every day is hella gay.

On my recent trip to Miami’s Winter Party Festival, I gave a whole new set of boys a taste of San Francisco with my homothusiasm. The flowers in my hair and my excessive glitter expressed the spirit of San Francisco everywhere I went, from the Rough Waters leather event with DJ Ted Eiel, to a drive-by at the Atlantis sailaway party, to owning a section of the afterparty dancefloor with DJ Luke Johnstone to my left and a pack of Brazilians to my right.

My reality check came when my CASTRO hoodie got an unexpected reaction from a Latin boy who warned me that I’d better not wear it in Miami. And here I thought there was only one Castro in the entire world, and that it was covered in rainbow.

One of my favorite moments was in the crowd outside Palace in South Beach. I worked the pushy masses as if they were my personal receiving line, smiling at everyone that bumped into me while observing a stunning cross-section of Miami’s scene-queens.

When two hot muscle daddies passed by, I muttered a sincere WOOF, almost involuntarily. Daddy stopped in his tracks and asked, incredulously, “Did you just WOOF at me?!”

“I sure did, handsome,” I said. Such a queer comment coming from a cocky gay without a cock apparently caught him off guard. Daddy felt compelled to gather his friends around and ask me where I had come from, as often happens when I forget where I am and that not every place is Oz.

But that wasn’t nearly as funny as the tranimal taken aback by the crazy braided ‘do my fab hairstylist Gib fierced me out with before I left for Miami, and the custom-couture Chaps t-shirts I rocked out with my travel trio. Working the rooftop at Club Manor like a runway after sneaking into DJ Manny Lehman’s booth for a cameo, Tranimal turned to me and said, “Where is you from, cuz it ain’t here?!”

San Fran Fucking Cisco, that’s where!

Bring It: March 5, 2010

2010-03-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

Hi, my name is Suzan Revah and I’m addicted to the circuit. Moving to the thumpa thumpa with my gays until I’m completely lost in the moment, covered in sweat and panting, is my favorite high. It’s an adrenaline charge, a ritualistic release, and apparently I just can’t get enough.

After a lifetime of cruise directing queens toward the disco ball - my drag name isn’t Pushy Bottom for nothing! – my excesses are coming full circle. And when it comes to disco temptation, I’m utterly powerless.

On an Atlantis cruise last year, I met a boy who owns a gay hotel in Miami. “Girl! You HAVE to come for Winter Party!” he said. I giggled politely, knowing there was no way in hell I could afford to get there. But just a few months later, I bought a ticket on Virgin and expanded my circuit frontier.

Supposedly understanding that tradeoffs would be necessary, I then swore I would NOT be attending this year’s White Party Palm Springs because I need to direct my vacation budget (a term I use quite loosely) elsewhere. But then I saw the epic lineup of DJs and the gathering storm of friends making their party plans, and now I’m on my way next month.

My addiction turned to full-on financial irresponsibility when I went from pooh-poohing Atlantis cruises - “How will I ever get to Rio or Sydney if I keep blowing my wad on those floating bathhouses?” – to signing up for the biggest cruise ever one year from now. My addiction has a layaway plan!

It’s always something on the circuit, with constant peer pressure to choose fun over reason. I seriously can’t afford my gay lifestyle, and yet I can’t afford not to. What if the party I skip turns out to be the best one ever?

Oscar Wilde comes to mind: “My only regret in this life are my economies,” he said. Spoken like a true circuit whore, and it’s the perfect rationalization for why I can’t help but bring it to one dancefloor after another, even though I think I can quit anytime.

What does your gay lifestyle say about your addictive personality? Tell me more at www.lovemygays.com.

Bring It! February 19, 2010

2010-02-19T12:00:00.000-08:00

It’s one thing to love your gays for all the fabulous fun they bring into your life, but it’s another thing entirely to love your gays for being the family you choose for yourself - as opposed to the family you’re born into.

I recently had the chance to host a mixing and mingling of both my “given” family and my chosen San Framily, and it made me fall in love with my gays all over again.

Being an old-school fag hag, there was a time when my gays represented a very intentional departure from the claustrophobic confines of my family. The “Family” we referred to back then as code was a safe haven. My gays provided sanctuary where I could fully express my inner freak and know that, instead of being judged, my differences would be cultivated and celebrated.

I’ve come a long way since then, and am told often that I’m way gayer than most gays. My conventional family has always had a sense of this, since I’ve always run with a gaggle of gays, but it’s only recently that I’ve fully come out.

These days, I live my big gay life loud and proud regardless of context, even if that context is my very traditional Turkish-Jewish upbringing. A visit from my recently widowed mother validated this choice a thousand times over, as I got to witness a beautiful and touching outpouring of support that welcomed her over the rainbow.

The queens truly treated my mother like a queen, and she quickly felt so flattered and comfortable in their presence – and in their bars! - that it was as if she too had been a lifelong fag hag. And she’s 79!

I couldn’t be more grateful and proud of my beloved gays for extending themselves so generously. They refined and redefined the concept of family, bringing swishy sunshine into my mother’s life and embracing her fully in the San Framily fold. It’s an experience I’ll never forget, a priceless perspective on why I love my gays in countless ways.

Please tell me in your own words why you love being gay at www.lovemygays.com, and next time your mom comes to the Castro, let me know so I can cruise direct the glitterized welcome wagon!

Bring It! February 6, 2010

2010-02-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

Some people read self-help books, but I seek wisdom in the divas of the dancefloor.

They serve up a message that’s sweepingly simple, yet seemingly specific, thumping a universal theme of self-empowerment to help you rise above it all.

The message that got me recently was a call to action: “Express Yourself.” With Valentine’s Day and the International Bear Rendezvous coming up, I got to thinking about all the ways I get to do just that, living here in Oz.

My big gay Valentine plan includes gogo dancing for my favorite charity (the AIDS Emergency Fund) at a leather bar (Chaps) on Saturday the 13th. I’m flattered by the company I’ll be keeping – Travis Creston, Race Cooper, Julian Marshburn – and they’ll provide “stiff” competition for who can bring in the most tips. I’ll be expressing myself hard to prove I deserve my spot in the lineup, and to win over the leathermen questioning the female on the gogo box.

Earlier that day is a video release party at The Midnight Sun at 3pm. The “First Sight of Red” video by Ejector - my favorite leather, glitter, goth band - is strikingly beautiful, and it paints a gorgeous portrait of gay San Francisco and the overflowing talent that expresses itself inside our bubble.

I’ll start Valentine’s Day worshiping at my “church,” Maria Stanford’s intensely zen yoga class at Gold’s Gym Castro. It’s where I process my messages from the dancefloor among the amazingly fit men that line up mat-to-mat to express themselves. A perfectly San Francisco exercise of enlightenment.

From there I’m going to see Justin Bond’s Closer to You at the Castro Theatre, my idea of family-friendly entertainment for my visiting mother. There will be Carpenters tunes and a 10-piece orchestra, and interludes from The Cockettes, a revival of one of San Francisco’s finest traditions of self-expression.

After hours I’m headed to Sanctuary, a party I never miss. It’ll be extra grrry and furry on IBR weekend, with chunk-house diva Ted Eiel at the decks. Dancing in the man-pit until dawn is my favorite way of all to express my true self, the fag hag who just can’t get enough of loving her gays in so many ways.

Sign up for my weekly email blast, the Cruise Director Alert, at www.originalfaghag.com, then meet me under the discoball to see what wisdom we can gain as we express ourselves.

Bring It! January 22, 2010

2010-01-22T12:00:00.000-08:00

The Original Fag Hag isn’t for everyone.

I’m often the odd gay man out, on both sides of the fence. I’ll never be fully assimilated into Castro culture (though I’m as fully assimilated as anyone without a penis could be), and I’m not really accepted or acceptable among straight folk, either.

I’m not only fine with this, I live for this, and the people who are nearest and dearest in my life are the ones who really “get it.”

My life story is pretty much “Love me, Love My Gays.” It’s simple, and surprisingly subversive. Explaining it to everyone who asks is the best way I know to become a fully self-actualized gay.

One of my favorite ways to break down barriers and stereotypes is to just put myself out there. Right in the middle of things, exactly where I supposedly don’t belong.

I’m basically a size queen when it comes to the huge pride I take in being part of groups that normally wouldn’t have me. The Real Bad Working Group that puts on this city’s finest leather party of the year is one example. Another is Castro Dads, the gay parenting group I recently joined in my own version of the sitcom Modern Family.

Nasty, my monthly “fun-raiser” for the AIDS Emergency Fund at The Powerhouse, has gone a long way toward helping me earn my Gay Card. Many actual gay men are intimidated by such a notorious leather bar, which is exactly why I was enticed by hosting a party there. And Friday, February 5, is going to be the gayest Nasty yet, with Wrestling Night sponsored by Kink.com’s Naked Kombat.

My mostly-straight boyfriend and my mostly-gay F-buddy will be pinning each other for the cause, and this “Battle for The Nasty Girl” perfectly dramatizes everything I love about being gay. In the words of my friend Michael Smith, the talented photographer who makes the Nasty magic happen on each month’s poster, I just don’t have the same problems as other people.

Damn straight. Or not!

Tell me in your own words why you love being gay at www.lovemygays.com.

Bring It: January 8, 2010

2010-01-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

Here’s to a new, as-of-yet unglitterized year!

Having survived the mary and gay of the holidaze makes me want to run for the nearest dancefloor, which is hardly a stretch for the Original Fag Hag, but it is one way of answering the question: How did I get so damn gay?

Boys often ask this of me and my fellow fruit-fly-on-the-front-lines-of-fag-haggery, Janine Shiota, and our short answer is because, once you go gay, you just can’t stay away.

Looking ahead at my gayer-than-gay calendar of events for the year, it’s flamingly obvious that the love and support and fabulous fun this community exchanges is more than just a day in the lifestyle, it’s an essential year-round endeavor.

I’ve already got big plans to get my gay on for MLK weekend and President’s Day weekend. Beyond that there’s Winter Party Miami (my first!), Irreverent Easter in Dolores Park (Hunky Jesus!), and then White Party Palm Springs. I thought I could resist the call of the desert this year, but I had to rethink given the white-hot DJs lined up, and then before we know it it’ll be Memorial Day and Pride, and I’ll be so deep in the glitter I won’t know what to do with myself until I can relax and unwind (ha!) on an Atlantis cruise somewhere.

Deep in the homo mix is where I feel most at home and at peace. The inclusive, accepting embrace of the community I lovingly call my San Framily is where I can truly ground myself by losing myself. Whether it’s at the club, or in drag, or in leather, or working for the cause, being so hella gay is the only way I know how to be, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

What gay goings-on are you most looking forward to this year and why? Tell me in your own words at www.lovemygays.com, or just stop by to check out all the many ways Janine and I love our gays.

Let's make this new decade the gayest one yet!

Bring It! December 11, 2009

2009-12-11T12:00:00.001-08:00

Like the facets of a disco ball, a shiny new year offers a great way to reflect.

Like at an epic dance party, so much happens in a year that it’s hard to keep track while it’s happening. It’s only when you finally sit down and pop a bottle of champagne (woo hoo!) that you realize how much you’ve been through and how much better you are for it.

I’m reflecting on a huge year personally, and it ended with a bang at Black XXXmas, one of my favorite dance parties of the year. This time around, I got the living-the-dream pleasure of performing in between two of my favorite DJs, Luke Johnstone and Abel, and in between two of my dearest members of The Pussy Posse, Travis Creston and Joanna Parks.

A lot of people go to church on Christmas, and my going to the dancefloor instead isn’t that different. My fellow circuit queens feel me when I say that sometimes I’m convinced “god” is in what the DJ serves up, in that ecstatic moment when you hear a “hymn” that speaks to you and to exactly where you are in your life.

The “church music” the Pussy Posse performed to at Black XXXmas was a song called “Believe,” and it’s a perfect anthem for the true joy of being gay.

To be what ya wanna be
To go where ya need to go in life
To do the things you need to do for yourself
All ya gotta do is believe.

That’s as good as gospel for everything that makes San Francisco the best place on earth, a place where I feel proud to live, and blessed to bring it wherever and however the spirit moves me.

Do what ya wanna do
To do what ya need to do
To do all that will make you happy in your life
All ya gotta do is believe in yourself.

Where else can a girl be the gayest man she knows among all her beloved gays, perform at parties she lives to be at with all her beloved gays, and host fun parties that support the communities and causes of all her beloved gays?

I love my gays in so many ways I can’t even speak to them all here, and I want to know more about all the ways you love being gay, too. Please come to www.lovemygays.com!

Bring It! December 11, 2009

2009-12-11T12:00:00.000-08:00

Bring It! November 27, 2009

2009-11-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

Seeing San Francisco through the eyes of visitors is always an eye-opening experience. It’s great to be reminded of all the things we can take for granted here in Oz.

When a pair of dear friends arrived from Minneapolis to see “how real San Franciscans live” over the holidays, I was skeptical at first. Why not come for Pride or Folsom or something else uniquely San Franciscan in scale and scope?

But going out with them on what was supposedly “an off weekend” made me realize that there’s no such thing as an off weekend when you live over the rainbow. It’s a real gift. Even when half the city is out of town and the other half is staying home overeating and being underactive in a way that San Franciscans normally try to avoid, we still do things our own glittery way.

In the Midwest, the holidays probably aren’t celebrated with a leather-bar crawl or with big gay singalongs. Family feasts probably aren’t punctuated with nitrous charges and marijuana desserts. The seasonal soundtrack probably isn’t songs from the circuit or showtunes sung by drag queens.

Ritual and tradition are no less meaningful among San Framily than they are among our “real” families back at home. Getting to see that from the perspective of extended family visiting from the gay hinterlands makes me feel both blessed and blissed, the way holidays are supposed to make you feel but rarely actually do.

I was worried that my visitors wouldn’t see enough of “the real San Francisco,” but realness is exactly what’s worth celebrating in the city that sets the standard for how to do everything the gay way, and for how to add a little more gay to every day.

Bring It! November 13, 2009

2009-11-13T12:00:00.000-08:00

Living in San Francisco gives me so many reasons to be thankful it’s ridiculous. It’s easily worth living beyond my means and living without sleep.

When counting my San Francisco blessings, freedom always comes to mind first, and then there’s our exceptional quality of life. We live large here in Oz, so large that it’s perfectly easy to forget there’s any other way to live.

Some San Franciscans aren’t so fortunate, and it’s important that we don’t forget them. Fortunately, our beautiful bubble by the bay offers countless ways to have big fun and give something big back to the community while doing it.

Enjoying a party and helping a cause aren’t mutually exclusive pursuits. Or they shouldn’t be, so I try to multitask in this way whenever possible. It’s really not hard, and there’s a bounty of rewards.

This Thanksgiving, I’m reflecting on how many ways this city allows me to get my glitter or leather or dance on in the name of altruism. Whether it’s Nasty, my filthy fun-raiser for AIDS Emergency Fund on first Fridays at the Powerhouse (come check it out on December 4!), or Real Bad, the closing party of the Folsom Street Fair that just gave away $150,000 to worthy beneficiaries, I’m continually humbled by how often a night on the town results in tangible support for San Franciscans that truly need our help.

Even my gig as a gogo dancer for Fresh ultimately amounts to shaking my ass for charity. On November 22 I’ll be working the box knowing that my “werk” is going to Maitri, which provides hospice care for people living with AIDS. Meanwhile, Maitri was one of Real Bad’s beneficiaries this year. That’s measurable impact, and all I’m doing is being the circuit sister I can’t help but be!

At Nasty, we play a game called STICK IT IN! that involves big giggles and small change (in Crisco cans) and results in a couple of grants each month for HIV/AIDS emergency assistance. Really? I get to throw myself at the men of the Powerhouse and call myself a fag hag philanthropist? That’s something to be extremely thankful for!

Let’s bring it to our common cause whenever and wherever we can this holiday season. It’s all about the giving, and trusting that, in San Francisco, we’re always getting more than we give.

Bring It! October 30, 2009

2009-10-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

I am not a lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with being lesbian, but my recent cruiseliner gaycation is making me suddenly feel the need to protest a little.

As one of 16 women on a floating bathhouse packed with 3,100 hot homos, my journey was quite eye-opening. Of course I can see exactly why there would be confusion and curiosity about what the hell I was doing on board.

The fact that I was sharing a cabin with my best girlfriend, dance partner, and circuit sister Joanna only added to the misperception. This despite the very clear signage I posted on our door explaining that we are gay men and San Fransexual drag queens, at least as much as anyone else on the dick deck.

I just couldn’t help but be surprised at how often we were unintentionally treated like circus freaks. Kind-hearted boys repeatedly introduced themselves by offering up that their lesbian sister/friend/neighbor would love us, or by offering to have children with us (ew!). Basically, it was “some of my best friends are lesbians” all over the place.

Totally understandable, and ultimately quite sweet, although it did get me to thinking about how difficult it is to leave behind the bubble of San Francisco (even to go on a big gay boat, which is only just barely a departure from San Francisco). The whole mistaken-lesbian-identity thing made me appreciate yet again how much I love living over the rainbow, where it’s much more rare that anyone puts my box in a box.

In San Francisco, we’re free to be you and me. We’re free to fly our freak flags high and proud, and we’re free to live anywhere and everywhere on the Kinsey Scale, and it doesn’t even have to be the same place day-to-day. Hell, we don’t even have to choose between being male and female in San Francisco, which is where I got off correcting so many seamen by insisting that I was a gay man just like them.

San Francisco has afforded me the privilege of losing all perspective when it comes to what’s gay or straight and where I fit in. The point is that I do fit in, and I’m so grateful to be that kind of freak.

In San Francisco, such ambiguity and fluidity isn’t just tolerated, it’s celebrated. That’s a beautiful thing, even if – sadly - it’s too chilly here for boys to rock Speedos around the clock like they do on the big gay boat.

Here’s where I’ll be getting my San Fransexual freak on coming up…

Friday, November 6:

Nasty: A Filthy Fun-raiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund
Special Night: Get your gothic leather glam on!
Nasty Girl Suzan Revah hosts; Nasty Boys play STICK IT IN!; Special performance by Glam Electro Pop Duo Ejector; with dirty dancing & dirty demos; free massage by Alex of Club EROS
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom, $5
www.powerhouse-sf.com

Saturday, November 7:

Bearracuda Underwear Party with DJ Pete Savas and Medic
Bears, cubs, and pups free massages, great tunes, tasty snacks, and friendly guys.
9pm-3am at Deco, 510 Larkin at Turk, $5/$7 after 10pm

AND

The Low Hat Saloon
An evening of dancing, drinks, and a spectacular show set in a mythical San Francisco Gold Rush era saloon, starring some of the world's top pro Latin/ballroom dancers, immediately following the California Dreaming Dancesport Festival.
7:30pm-midnight at The Hotel Whitcomb, 1231 Market Street
www.californiadreamingdancesport.com

Friday, November 13

Mister and Miss Gay Pageant: "Down the Rabbit Hole: A Night of Fairy Tales"
7pm doors/8pm pageant at Hotel Whitcomb, 1231 Market
$15 advance/$20 door, premium tables of 10 $250. Advance tickets at Marlenas, 488 Hayes
www.imperialcouncil sf.org

Sunday, November 15:

PLAY: Military Furlough T-Dance with DJ Ted Eiel
Flirt. Frolic. Dance. Sir!
Gear: CasualMilitary.Army.Navy.AirForce.Marine.CoastGuard
5pm-midnight at DNA Lounge, 375 11th Street
$20 advance tickets from PLAY-Pals, $25 advance tickets retail and online, $30 door
www.playtdance.com

Immediately followed by…

Thick with DJ Frank Wild
11pm-3am at Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, $10
www.eightsf.com

Bring It! October 10, 2009

2009-10-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

Going on a big gay cruise boat probably doesn’t sound like a vacation from San Francisco. It’s actually more like San Francisco on steroids, or on acid, or on the most perfect trail mix of party drugs.

Which means for this Original Fag Hag and self-proclaimed cruise director, it’s a sun-soaked slice of heaven. Blazing sunshine is really the only thing the “Dick Deck” has that San Francisco doesn’t have when it comes to a perfect gay world. Setting sail on an Atlantis cruise is like living in a biosphere where the only concerns are whether you have enough sunscreen on and what to wear to the next party.

Living in the bubble of San Francisco feels like gaycation a lot of the time. We work really hard to play really hard, but hedonism is really our full-time job. The rest of the gay world looks to us to set the standard!

On the boat, the hedonism is more intensified, and the agenda more compressed. Instead of 3 parties a weekend, it’s 3 parties a day, and instead of the occasional weekend in Speedos on Boy Beach, it’s a nonstop parade of underwear models in banana hammocks. It’s like a weeklong reality-show challenge, in which one’s skills as a homosexual are put to the ultimate test.

Coming home from a gay cruise ain’t pretty, even when you’re coming home to Oz. I’ll be back just in time for Halloween, a holiday that reminds me yet again how special San Francisco is. Costumes are practically our uniforms here over the rainbow, and there’s a pagan ritual going on somewhere every night of the week.

October 23

Queens Are Wild: StopAIDS Project and Elbow Grease invite you to roll the dice
A Halloween casino event and dance party, hosted by Bebe Sweetbriar, plus a special appearance by Kristine W
Casino games, pornstar dealers, and a costume contest from 8pm-midnight; dancing until 3am at Mezzanine, 444 Jesse Street at 5th, tickets start at $25
www.stopaids.org/queensarewild or 415.575.0150 x260

AND

GhettoDisco: DJ Hawthorne’s Birthday Bash, wth Shawn Perry & Cuervo
11pm-11am, featuring an extended crazy-funky afterhours set beginning at 2am, no cover before midnight
Endup, 6th and Harrison
www.theendup.com/events/ghettodisco.html

October 24

Pornstar returns with music by producer/remixer DJ Escape
Featuring Rascal Exclusive Jeremy Bildingmusic; Host Michael Brandon and Gogo studs Damian Rios, Race Cooper, and Darren Summers
With 2 floors and 3 bars of Manly Mayhem, with a Perky Booty contest in the 70s soul/disco lounge
9pm-3am at Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, $15 before midnight/$20 after

AND

Memory/Healing Party: HIV Era Veterans Celebration
Celebrate the everyday heroes who have survived and thrived in the HIV era, with music, dancing, workshops, and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
1pm-5pm, War Memorial Veterans' Hall, 401 Van Ness, free
www.richtrove.com

October 25

Church: Celebrating 10 years of Our Love!
Go to church with Bebe Sweetbriar; Free brunch with soul food, old-school gospel, hip hop and R&B spun by DJ Olga T; special guest performances by the Black Men of the Castro Calendar, with dancing and mimosas
1pm-5pm at The Café, 2367 Market Street

October 26

Defying Inequality: A Celebrity Benefit for Marriage Equality at San Francisco Palace of the Fine Arts
Join the cast of Wicked San Francisco, Broadway stars, members of the San Francisco Arts Community, and a variety of celebrity guests for an evening of song and dance in support equal rights.
Entertainment includes Patty Duke, Bruce Vilanch, the Cast of Wicked San Francisco, Matt Alber, Clifford Banagale, Boylesque, Connie Champagne, Carmen Cusack, Ava Garter, Judy Gold, Selene Luna, Meg Mackay, Scott Matthew, Billy Philadelphia, Laughing Pizza, Empress XXX Donna Sachet, and Suzanne Whanghunter, Las Vegas).
7:30-9:30 pm VIP Reception (Show only, $100; Show and VIP Party, $250)
www.defyinginequality.com

October 31 – Halloween

Colossus: A Celebration of Lost Idols with DJ Manny Lehman
Major dead celebrity costume contest with cash prizes
10pm-4am, high atop the Metreon at the corner of 4th & Mission, $50 advance/$60 door
http://www.guspresents.com/colossushalloween
FOLLOWED BY: reLOAD Afterhours at 525 Howard with DJ Pornstar, $20 door

AND

Halloween: A Party! Presented by Trannyshack & Midnight Mass
Hosted by Heklina as "Dragula" & Peaches Christ as "Tran Helsing"; Featuring Putanesca, Holy McGrail, Lady Bear, and Syphilis Diller, Raya Light, Holotta Tymes, Cookie Dough and More; Co-Starring Jackie Beat, with DJs Pinky Ring & Silencefiction
9pm-3am, midnight show at The Cat Club, 1190 Folsom St. at 8th, $15 cover/$25 out of costume
www.trannyshack.com

AND

Big Top: A Homoween Disco Circus
With DJs Kevin Graves (NYC) and Marcus Boogie; a midnight show featuring Oxana Olsen, Miss Rahni and Tess Tickle; Juanita MORE’s annual Halloween costume contest; Booty Call portraits
9pm-3am at Club Ei8ht, 1151 Folsom, $10 door

AND

Social Club: Halloween Fun House with DJs Lee Decker, Luke Fry, Pornstar and Joshua J
Sideshow freaks, spectacular live acts, Ringmaster Hostess Lady Lumpia, Psycho Circus Clowns
9pm at Lookout, 16th and Market in the Castro

November 1

Come see the Original Fag Hag on the gogo box at:
Halloween Fresh with DJ/Producer Tony Moran – his Fresh debut!
Benefiting World Bike, 6pm-midnight at Ruby Skye, 420 Mason Street @ Geary, $20 advance/$25 door
www.freshsf.com

November 6:

Nasty: A Filthy Fun-raiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund
The Black Party: Get your leather goth on!
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom, $5
Nasty Girl Suzan Revah hosts; Nasty Boys play STICK IT IN!; Special performance by Glam Electro Pop Duo Ejector; with dirty dancing & dirty demos; free massage by Alex of Club EROS
www.powerhouse-sf.com

Bring It! October 2, 2009

2009-10-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

San Francisco has its own way of doing everything, and it’s particularly apparently this time of year, our peak season.

I’m not just talking about our Indian Summer. Much like the Jewish calendar has its own timeline and its own set of holidays, San Francisco’s calendar doesn’t quite synch beyond the bubble.

While the rest of the Western world cues its seasonal stress to Thanksgiving and Christmas, our “high holidays” in Oz are marked by Pride and Folsom, with the Castro Street Fair feeling something like New Year’s Eve. Much like Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, our major holidays give us the chance to celebrate another year of glitter while atoning for our “sins.” (I don’t know about you, but I’m still licking my wounds from Folsom!)

While “normal” people are storing away their beach blankets and going through crates of Christmas ornaments, San Franciscans are wondering if their rainbow flags are in good enough condition to fly proud through the rainy season. We’re planning our gaycation budgets, and we’re repairing our leathers so they’ll be in good condition for the next “formal” event.

I never cared much for Easter before I moved to San Francisco, but it’s now among my favorite holidays. It’s perfectly irreverent, and a perfect tribute to the birth of spring. Our rites and rituals take paganism to a whole new level, and the significance of gathering San Framily to “observe” holidays like The White Party or even Fleet Week - gotta have an excuse for sailor suits! - is no less real than any church meeting.

Our need for fundraisers, support groups, and booster clubs is no less real, either. I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted from the fabulous blur of parties and parades by this time of the year, and Halloween is just around the corner!

Bring It! August 31, 2009

2009-08-31T12:00:00.000-07:00

I’m a Pollyanna of the gay dance circuit. In my eyes, all is glittery and love under the disco ball, a community coming together to move their bodies and spirits.

Which is why it warms my gay heart when the community also comes together behind the scenes, with party producers/promoters joining forces to deliver a disco double-whammy.

Take Sundance, the Russian River circuit revival brought to us by Gus Presents, along with some help from DJ Luke Johnstone’s Dig-It-Talent. After a 5-year hiatus, the event made a hugely successful comeback, bringing the boys together for an unforgettable day of dancing in the sunshine.

From my perspective on the dancefloor – which is somewhere in between work and play, somewhere between promoter and party girl - collaboration and cooperation produce better results than competition.

Take Black XXXmas, another event Gus and Luke come together to produce each year. It’s unique and huge, and we look forward to it each year. Can we get some more of that, please?

I know it sounds idealistic (Pollyanna), but my take is that our nightlife scene is really working when we’ve got the best of our producers and promoters working together.

With all the fun parties/scenes in San Francisco, it’s hard enough out here for a promoter. Party people are moody and fussy. We’re skeptical of new events, even though our favorite complaint is that that there aren’t enough of them. We always want more but we don’t want to pay more, and we have short memories when the essentially thankless job of producing goes well.

That just means we’re no different than any other city, but I like to think of San Francisco as a city that transcends.

Like at this year’s Pride, when the Wunderland team threw its support to the boys behind The Disco. The party surpassed expectations and was the hit of the weekend. Gay Day Great America brings together Fresh’s Janine Shiota and DJ Luke Johnstone, and the result is an event that consistently overflows with talent.

The power to have more partnerships and less drama lies within us. We vote by showing up, and we can easily encourage our nightlife scene to be less war-torn and more like a gay United Nations.

The Folsom Street Fair couldn’t be what it is today without promoters and producers rallying together. It’s now a worldwide model of what can happen when a simple party transcends, having grown up into not just a San Francisco icon, but a massive fundraiser as well.

Why wouldn’t we want more parties backed by more people who know how to give us the goods? If my gays have taught me nothing, it’s that more is more and less is a bore, so to all the promoters who are willing to tag-team to give us more, I say “Bring it!”

Bring It! August 18, 2009

2009-08-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

Life is precious, and short, and there’s no better city than San Francisco to seize the gay day and live to your loudest and proudest.

Some might call it hedonism, but I would say it’s just making the most of our time. We squeeze every last drop out of this life while we can, because when you’re living over the rainbow, that’s just how we roll.

Sure, devotion to pleasure as a way of life can have some pitfalls (sleep deprivation and spending beyond one’s means come to mind), but living the dream is what our nightlife scene is all about. Whatever faggotry you fancy, we’ve got it. San Francisco is the ultimate enabler.

For a small town, our parties are impressively larger than life. Big holiday weekends always remind me that we take the concept of lifestyle to the extreme here in our beautiful little bubble by the bay, and I personally wouldn’t want it any other way.

Here’s where I’ll be bringing it while the bringin’s good…

Friday, August 28

Trannyshack Bjork Night
The annual salute to the Ice Princess
Featuring a midnight show with peformances by Heklina, Putanesca, Peggy L'eggs, Glamamore, Kiddie, Fauxnique, Raya Light, Syphilis Diller, Ambrosia Salad, Vivianne Forevermore, Elijah Minnelli, and many more.
10pm-3am at DNA Lounge, 375 11th Street, $12

AND

DJ Jamie J Sanchez at Trigger, 2344 Market Street, www.clubtrigger.com

Saturday, August 29

The Return of Big Top, A Homo Disco Circus
A party for fags, dykes, and tranimals
With DJ Juanita More and DJ Goldblooded, plus a drag show dedicated to Michael Jackson featuring performances by Charisma Glitteratti, Ambrosia Salad, Hoku Mama Swamp, and from Ru Paul's Drag Race, Miss Tammie Brown.
9pm-3am at Club Ei8ht, 1151 Folsom between 8th and 9th, free before 10pm, $5 after

Sunday, August 30

Mr. and Miss Golden Gate Gaymes and Picnic
BBQ, buffet, beer and beverage bust presented by the Imperial Council of San Francisco
Noon – 5pm at the Eureka Valley Rec Center Main Field, at 18th and Collingwood in the Castro, $20
Streetcar procession immediately following to the Golden Gate finale at Triple Crown, 6pm-9pm

Saturday, September 5

SF Leather Daddy boy XXVII Contest
Benefiting the AIDS Emergency Fund
9pm-midnight at The Eagle Tavern, 398 12th at Harrison

AND

Wunderland with DJs Eddie Elias and Hawthorne
10pm-6am at Mezzanine, 444 Jesse Street @ Mint, $15 before midnight, $25 after

AND

Underworld with DJ Kevin Lee
Drop your pants and dance!
10pm-6am at 550 Barneveld, $20
www.guspresents.com/underworld

Sunday, September 6

Fresh with DJ Manny Lehman
Benefiting AIDS Project LA
6pm-midnight at Ruby Skye, 420 Mason Street at Geary, $20 advance/$25 door
www.freshsf.com

AND

Sanctuary with DJs John LePage and Alexander
Men. Music. Muscle.
10pm-6am at 1015 Folsom, $20 advance/$30 door
www.guspresents.com/sanctuary

Friday, September 11

Nasty: A filthy fun-raiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund
With Suzan Revah as your Nasty Girl host, and Nasty Boys playing STICK IT IN!
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom between 9th and 10th
www.powerhouse-sf.com

Bring It! August 7, 2009

2009-08-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

I don’t care nearly as much about Britney Spears as I do about, say, Bebe Sweetbriar, and these days I spend more time looking through photos on Facebook than I do looking through the pages of Us Weekly.

I attribute this behavior to a phenomenon known as “sublebrity” (some call it “localebrity”), and it’s yet another reason why I love living in San Francisco. We have our own unique vibe in all that we do, and our local talent is rich and revolutionary. All the entertainment and amusement I could possibly need resides right here in our beautiful bubble by the bay.

I love to hate Facebook, but I also hate to love it. More and more, it seems like “social networking” is everyone’s favorite version of reality TV. As citizens of the action-packed Castro, it’s easy to feel better about ourselves when we compare to our “peers,” especially those bored and boring souls from our former lives who aren’t privileged enough to live here. (Bless their hearts.)

We feel validated, and our sublebrity status is confirmed, when our hundreds of “friends” and “fans” recognize, appreciate, and support our colorful, quirky little lives on the glittery stage of the San Francisco scene. Keeping this in mind motivates me to go out even more, and to bring it even harder.

Here’s where me and my sublebrity pals will be acting up next, creating the next episode in the days of our fabulous lives. Come on out and make for some good Fagbook TV with me!

Friday, August 14

Lick It: What Do You Have a Taste For?
Benefiting the Breast Cancer Emergency Fund and the Positive Resource Center. Come get satiated at this event hosted by Lance Holman. Featuring lickable gogo dancers, decadent raffles, and Ms. V at the bootblack stand.
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom Street (between 9th & 10th)
www.powerhouse-sf.com

AND

SF Grand Ball: An Old-School Vogue Ball Competition
Part of Mama Calizo’s Voice Factory’s residency at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Push Play Festival
The House of Glitter challenges all of the Bay Area's Houses of Queens, Kings, Butches and every Queerity in between to compete, every Friday in August, leading up to the Battle at Ground Zero Championship on September 11 and a $200 prize for Best in Show. Tommy LaBeija from NYC's Legendary House of LaBeija oversees the judging, so get your house in order!
8pm at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission Street
http://groups.google.com/group/sfgrandvogueball

Saturday, August 15

Industry San Francisco DJ Showcase with DJs James Torres, Russ Rich, Frank Wild and Jamie J Sanchez
Plus, performances by Suzan Revah Original Fag Hag and the Pussy Posse, including Steven Satyricon and Joanna Parks on the gogo box!
10pm-5am at Mighty, 119 Utah Street at 15th, $15 advance/$25 door
www.industrysf.com

AND

The 14th Annual Drag King Contest
The biggest drag king competition in the world, benefiting P.A.W.S. (Pets Are Wonderful Support)
8pm to 2:30am at DNA Lounge, 375 11th Street, $15 in advance/$20 door (general admission); $25 VIP, $35 limited balcony seating
www.dnalounge.com

AND

Bearracuda 3-year Anniversary
With DJs Tony Ruiz, BoyShapedBox, and Medic, plus a 10:30pm show with Fruitbomb, Hoku Mama Swamp, Glitterella, and Glamamore
Hot and cold snacks in the pool room, heavy petting all over
9pm-3am at Deco at 510 Larkin @ Turk, $8
www.bearracuda.com

Sunday, August 16

Flagging in the Park with DJ Luke Johnstone
Benefiting Larkin Street Youth Services
Enjoy sun, music, flagging, friends, and fauna at this event, a tradition that started in 1996 as a celebration of life. Open to all of the flow arts - fan dancing, flag dancing, poi - and their supporters.
1pm-4pm in the AIDS Memorial Grove, Golden Gate Park

AND

Fresh with the Perry Twins
Benefiting AIDS Walk
6pm-midnight at Ruby Skye, 420 Mason Street at Geary
$20 advance or before 6pm, $25 after
www.freshsf.com

IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY:

Thick with DJ Luke Johnstone
11pm-3am at Club Ei8ht, 1151 Folsom Street between 7th and 8th, $10
www.eightsf.com

Friday, August 21

Meat Packin’ Contest, Benefiting Under One Roof and the AIDS Emergency Fund

Your chance to show your pride for what you're packing! Don your favorite jock, boxer, or brief to show what you've got, then battle with your bulge for a $100 cash prize. (Contestants need to arrive by 10:30pm.)
Sponsored by Colt Studios, and featuring Suzan Revah the Original Fag Hag on the judging panel (lucky me!).
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom, $5
www.powerhouse-sf.com

All weekend long: August 21-23

Sundance: Russian River Party Weekend
All-day outdoor dancing in the sun under the mighty redwood trees of western Sonoma County. Like one big, gay summer camp!
Saturday:
Daylight Pool Party with DJs Lee Decker and Jason G, 11am-6pm at the Russian River Resort; followed by Moondance Men on the Moon with DJ Matt Consola, 9pm-6am at River Space
Sunday:
Sundance Russian River Morning Party with DJ Phil B, Noon-6pm at a private Guerneville Estate; followed by Sunset Massive Tribal Closing Dance with DJ Luke Johnstone, 6pm-3am at River Space, featuring a special performance by Suzan Revah, the Original Fag Hag, and Travis Creston, Mr. SF Leather 2007.
www.guspresents.com/sundance

ALSO:

Saturday, August 22

Shangri-La August Moon Festival Party with DJs Dan De Leon, Kevin Lee, and Alan Bentley
10pm-6am at The Endup, 6th and Harrison Streets
Free before 11pm, $15 until 2am, $20 after
www.theendup.com

Sunday, August 23

Endup T-Dance with DJ Frank Wild
Sunday “church” begins at 6am, Frank Wild spins at noon. Resident DJs keep the beats going until 8pm.
The Endup, 6th and Harrison Streets
www.theendup.com

Tuesday, August 25

Chaser & Electronic Music Bears Present… The Miss Grrrrrrl Pageant
A night devoted to our plump and furry friends and their lovers.
9pm-late, show at 11pm at The Endup, 401 6th Street at Harrison, $10
www.theendup.com

Bring It! July 25, 2009

2009-07-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

The yellow brick road that leads to San Francisco leads the way for so many a gay.

The fact that our city gave birth to the concept of bears is yet another reason to be so proud that we live here, as it illustrates and celebrates the diversity of our standard-setting gay community.

Lazy Bear weekend is a lovely chance to reflect on how the freedom we enjoy here allows us to evolve past a community of mere Castro clones. Here in the land over the rainbow, we have a gay for every taste, and a flag for every fag.

The bears are a grrrr-eat example of how our beautiful little bubble by the bay allows everyone to create their own reality - not only to survive, but to thrive.

Bear identity was born in San Francisco in the 80s, in defiance of the smooth ideal of the stereotypical muscle queen. A welcome aesthetic alternative to the swishy twink, our furry, burly bears stand for acceptance. They have been wildly successful in promoting an alternative identity for gay men who just can’t see themselves in the clichés (the Generibears backlash notwithstanding).

These days the bears are a subculture of their own, with their own code, their own titles, and their own circuit. Even aside from the International Bear Rendezvous and Lazy Bear, their neck of the woods is a year-round party.

As a proud Goldilocks with big love for all my bears, from cute little cubs to otters and wolves, it’s great to know that you can skip the gym, pack a picnic, and take a walk on the wild side anytime. Whether it’s Bearracuda, Movie Bears, Bearapalooza or Bearlesque that makes you go WOOF, our bears bring the realness, to the Russian River and beyond.

July 29-August 3

Lazy Bear Weekend in Guerneville
Thousands of men from around the world gather every summer in the forest town of Guerneville for a week of dancing, drinking beer and just being with men. www.lazybearweekend.com

Saturday, August 1

Bearracuda: Mid-summer underwear party
A party for bears, cubs and other wildlife, with free massages, great tunes, tasty snacks, and friendly guys
9pm at Deco, 510 Larkin @ Turk www.bearracuda.com

Friday, August 7

Nasty: A filthy fun-raiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund
With Suzan Revah as your Nasty Girl host, and Nasty Boys playing “Stick it in!”
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom Street www.powerhouse-sf.com

Friday, August 8

Dancing with the Drag Stars
Who will be crowned champion in the final round? Featuring the Original Fag Hag competing against four of her fiercest drag sisters, with celebrity judges and guest performances.
7pm at Cheryl Burke Dance Grand Ballroom, 1830 17th Street

Wunderland with DJs Hawthorne and Kio Kio
The official Dancing with the Drag Stars afterparty
10pm at Glas Kat 520 4th @ Bryant

Tuesday, August 11

Chaser: The Black Issue, A Tribute to the African-American Drag Diva
Featuring performances by Mercedez Munro, Erykah Daye Munro, Miss Rahni
Carrie BlackShaw, and Honey Mahogany
9pm at The Endup, 401 6th Street @ Harrison

Bring It! July 10, 2009

2009-07-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

There’s nothing a gay boy loves more than an only-in-San-Francisco event, and Up Your Alley is, well, right up my alley.

Leather, fetish, and BDSM have come a long way since this hard-core street festival began in 1985. Kink is hardly unique or hardly subversive anymore, but that doesn’t make it any less essential to the distinct and distinguished character of our beloved bay of pigs.

There may never be a time again when I’ll be one of just a handful of females daring to do Dore. That’s bittersweet, personally, for an old-school fag hag like me, but it’s also undeniable progress politically. There’s no longer actual risk associated with strutting SOMA in your chaps and nipple clamps, because sexual freedom is no longer a privilege, it’s our right. That’s a real reason to celebrate.

No matter what color hanky you flag, and no matter if your gear is actually just drag, set aside a day devoted to dancing, demos, and debauchery. Depravity is as much a source of pride for our community as anything with a rainbow on it, so rock out with your cock out!

That’s what I’ll be doing at all the Up Your Alley events, and I hope you’ll come play with me. I expect to see your ass, too, or I’ll paddle it until you beg for mercy. Out of respect for Dore, I’ll even leave the glitter at home!

Friday, July 17:

Happy Hour with DJ Christopher B
5:30-8:30pm at Lookout, 2600 16th Street @ Market
www.lookoutsf.com

AND

MANnequin Fridays
Tragically gorgeous flowers, legendary Diptyque smell, and the sound waves of Amasha & Mc Clure
BOC, 198 Church Street
$2, 2-for-1 Ketel One drinks until 12am
www.mannequinsf.com

AND

SMACK! Hosted by Juanita MORE! and Nathan Rapport of Detroit’s SASS
Featuring Detroit ex-pat Jason Kendig and Detroit tastemaker Chuck Hampton delivering a very potent shot of Detroit-style dance fun.
10pm-2am at Underground SF, 424 Haight Street, $5
www.juanitamore.com

AND

GhettoDisco
The Endup, 6th & Harrison Streets
11pm-11am, always free before midnight
http://www.theendup.com/events/ghettodisco.html

Saturday, July 18:

Michael Jackson Night at Club Gossip
Authentic 80s music and video in two rooms hosted by Randy Maupin, with a heavy dose of Michael Jackson between 11pm and midnight
9:30-3am at The Cat Club, 1190 Folsom Street, free before 10pm, $8 after

Sunday, July 19:

I’ll be celebrating my birthday on the gogo box at Fresh, my favorite T-dance. There’s an open invitation to spank me, which makes it the perfect warm-up for Dore!

Fresh with DJ Dan DeLeon
Benefiting the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
6pm-midnight at Ruby Skye, 420 Mason Street at Geary, $20 advance or before 6:30pm, $25 after
www.freshsf.com

Tuesday, July 21:

Posh Tuesdays with Donna Sachet
5pm-7pm at Infusion Lounge, 124 Ellis Street
http://www.infusionlounge.com

AND

Bulb: Blockbuster, a Hagztravaghanza hosted by Precious Moments
An interdisciplinary spectacular of electrifying vocalists, titilating trannies, and burlesque. Dance your inspired ass off to classic NYC House beats, featuring the Original Fag Hag and her girl Joanna with bombastic gogo artistry.
11pm-3am at The Stud, 9th and Harrison Streets, $8

Friday, July 24:

Not an official Up Your Alley event, but the Cockettes are officially part of San Francisco’s sexual revolution, and this play celebrates their 40th anniversary, so come pay tribute (through August 16)…

Pearls over Shanghai – Starring Steven Satyricon and Precious Moments!
A comic mock-operetta about white slavery and miscegenation set in the colorful world of 1937 Shanghai.
The Hypnodrome, 575 10th Street
www.thrillpeddlers.com

Saturday, July 25:

Twisted Nastier - Up Your Alley Eve
Filthy dirty gogo dancers (including myself, the Nasty Girl!) and heavy cruising.
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom Street between 9th and 10th
www.powerhouse-sf.com

AND

Bay of Pigs with DJ Ted Eiel & DJ Luis Cintron (in the dungeon)
Sexy dancers, demos, and play spaces galore.
10pm-4am at 181 Eddy Street, $40 advance/$50 door
http://www.folsomstreetfair.com/bayofpigs/

Sunday, July 26:

Up Your Alley
The Folsom Street fair that’s not for tourists or gawkers.
11am-6pm on Dore Alley between Folsom and Howard Streets, and in the adjoining blocks of Folsom between 9th and Juniper Streets. $7 suggested donation
http://www.folsomstreetfair.com/alley/

AND

PLAY T-Dance with DJ Rob Kaftan
Flirt, Frolic, and Dance at the Up Your Alley T-Dance and Closing Party
5pm-midnight at DNA Lounge, 375 11th Street
$20 tickets available from a PLAY Pal (like me!), or $25 advance/$30 door
www.playtdance.com

Bring It! June 12, 2009

2009-06-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

It’s so easy to take so much for granted in San Francisco, the land over the rainbow and the gay pride capital of the universe.

Here in Oz, we’re lucky enough to believe that all men, women, and everyone in between are created equal. We see living proof every minute of every day, but the truth is that the fight continues, and it’s worth remembering that the celebrations we live and love today grew out of strife, struggle, and salvation.

The divas who keep our dancefloors and Pride parades humping, thumping, and pumping are testifying to all those same themes today. With Prop 8 still the ruling law of the land, those themes are just as relevant now as they were when the drag queens of Stonewall took to the streets and took their lives in their hands, kicking off a civil rights movement back before queer was cute.

Generations have grown up since then, and the movement has aroused, involved, and evolved so successfully that we no longer feel compelled to riot in the streets. As much pride as we’ve gained, it’s a damn shame that the indignity of inequality is still our reality.

Rallying to the cause and rallying to the dancefloor strengthens our sense of community and purpose. Raising our collective consciousness while raising the roof is what the gays do better than anyone else!

No matter where you fit in on the LGBTQ spectrum, our city offers no shortage of ways to put a little protest in your party, and that’s something we can all take pride in.

Friday, June 19:

Snap-a-licious: Ginger Snap’s Monthly Drag Show
Featuring performances by Ginger Snap, Holy DeVille, Pinky Maraschino, Miss Nix, and as always, Melody Grooves
10pm show, followed by dancing with DJ Lambchop until 2am
9pm-2am at Deco Lounge, 510 Larkin Street at Turk

Saturday, June 20:

The Launch Party
With Kaskade, Chris Lake, Chris Willis, Jess, Bellatrax, Cataracts, Jamie J Sanchez, and Wayne G, plus Energy 92.7 DJs
8pm-3am at The Regency Center, 1290 Sutter Street, $35
Tickets available at www.ticketmaster.com and Gold’s Castro or SOMA
$1 from every ticket goes the San Francisco AIDS Foundation

Sunday, June 21:

Marlena’s Dragathon
Kings, Queens and Everything In Between
Over 50 different performers (The Original Fag Hag included) contribute to a 9-hour dragathon to raise funds for the charity designees of the Castro Lions Charities. Everyone is welcome to perform at this event, the perfect place to try drag for the first time if you’ve always wanted to. The audience couldn’t be more appreciative!
12pm-9pm at Marlena’s, 488 Hayes Street

Friday, June 26:

Underworld with DJs Lee Decker and Kevin Lee
1,000 boys in briefs, so drop your pants and dance!
10pm-late at Space 550, 550 Barneveld at Industrial, $20 advance/$30 door, clothes check included
www.guspresents.com/underworld

AND

Club Asia returns with DJs Luke Fry, Robbie Martin, and Zax
The largest and most ground-breaking Gay Asian club on the west coast for over 6 years returns, for one night only.
With sexy dancing by the Club Asia Body Boys and the world-famous transgender Ladies of AsiaSF
10pm – afterhours at DNA Lounge, 375 11th Street @ Folsom

AND

MR. with DJs Kidd Sysko and David Harness
Pride's annual mustached dance party
9pm-3am at Triple Crown (formerly Octavia Lounge), 1760 Market Street
AND
Bearracuda presents Underwear Night with DJs Airick, Boyshapedbox, 50 Pound Note, and Medic
A party for bears, cubs, and other wildlife, with free massages, great tunes, tasty snacks and friendly guys
9pm-3am at Deco Lounge, 510 Larkin Street, $7/$5 before 10pm
www.bearracuda.com

AND

SupperVision Pride: A Fusion of Film & Performance
Pre-show in the Pajama Lounge, Multimedia main stage and underwater fashion show at midnight
Featuring Ginger Snap, Artist Malcolm Drake, Ambrosia Salad, acrobatics by Condi Davis, and Violin Bliss by Paul Scribble Festa
With DJs Tekkk and Malakai in the main room, and DJ Pup in the lounge
$15 limited pre-sale, $20 in costume or PJs, $25 no costume before 1am
Partial proceeds to benefit the Comfort & Joy Scholarship Fund
10pm-5am at SupperClub, 657 Harrison Street at 3rd
www.visualsby3.com

AND

Marga and The Boys
Barely legal comedy starring Marga Gomez, Marty Grimes, David Hawkins, and Nate Blanchard; Marga’s third engagement at The National Queer Arts Festival in her dual role as uproarious dyke diva and procurer of sensational gay male comics.
8pm at the LGBT Center, Rainbow Room, 1800 Market Street, $15
Tickets: http://www.brownpapertickets.com

Saturday, June 27:

Start your Pink Saturday right with…

The 11th Annual Pride Brunch for Positive Resource Center
Join Gary Virginia and Donna Sachet in honoring the Pride Parade’s Grand Marshals
11am-2pm it the Hotel Whitcomb Ballroom, 1231 Market Street @ 8th Street
VIP $100/General admission $75

And then check out the street party that goes from Dolores Park to the Castro all day and into the night. Then gear up for…

The Disco with DJs Paul Goodyear and Bud Chism
Gay fun done just right!
Featuring the Original Fag Hag as Snow White with the Seven Bears and Evil Cherry Queen Snatch, plus The Twister Boys, the It’s a Drag Lounge with Charisma Glitterati and Bebe Sweetbriar, and The Juice Box Flagger Stage
10pm at Mezzanine, 444 Jessie St., $40 retail and online, $30 through Disco hosts, $50 door
www.thediscosf.com

AND

Colossus with DJs Manny Lehman and Tony Moran
Colossus returns to its original home at 1015 Folsom for the club’s first all-gay Saturday night in 17 years
Plus DJs Jim Hopkins (in the Retro Room), Kidd Sysko (in the Crib Room), and Pornstar (in the Electro Room)
Live on stage: Flava channels Sylvester
10pm-6am at 1015 Folsom, $50 advance/$70 door
http://www.guspresents.com/colossuspride

Sunday June 28:

The Original Fag Hag’s Pride wouldn’t be complete without this delicious double-whammy:

Fresh with DJ Kimberly S
With a special performance by Jai Rodriguez, and benefiting San Francisco Pride
6pm-midnight at Ruby Skye, 420 Mason Street, $20 advance/$25 door
www.freshsf.com

AND

Sanctuary with DJs Phil B and Twisted Dee
Men, Music, Muscle, Pride!
10pm-late at 1015 Folsom Street
www.guspresents.com/sanctuary

and there’s also…

Juanita MORE’s Gay Pride Pool Party
Benefiting The Transgender Law Center
Featuring The Ones, James Glass, Robot Hustle (Honey Soundsystem), Victor Rodriguez (Shits & Giggles, LA), Glamamore, Derrick Love, Nicky B, Le Dinosaur & That Mold Science of Gemini Disco, and The Cougar Cadet Corps Drumline
3pm-2am outdoors and indoors at Bambudda Lounge, 601 Eddy Street @ Larkin, $25 advance/$35 door
www.juanitamore.com

AND

The Gayest Party of the Year: Trannyshack vs. Big Top!
Big Top front room hosted by Joshua J & Sister Roma, featuring DJ Victor Rodriguez
Midnight drag show in the Trannyshack back room, featuring Heklina, JJ Crackers, Falsetta Knockers, Kiddie, Putanesca, Fauxnique, Metal Patricia, Renttecca, and House of Salad; with DJs Kidd Sysko and Lisa Pittman
9pm-3am at The Cat Club, 1190 Folsom at 8th, $15 pre-sale/$20 door
www.trannyshack.com

AND

Unity Pride T-Dance with DJs David Knapp and Jamie J Sanchez
6pm-midnight at DNA Lounge, 375 Eleventh Street, $15 advance
www.guspresents.com/unity

AND

Cockblock
San Francisco's most homolicious dance party for lezzies, queers, lovers and friends
With DJs Nuxx, Zax, Ms. Jackson, and DJ C-L.A.
9pm-3am at Supperclub, 657 Harrison Street at 3rd, $15 presale
www.cockblocksf.com

Through June 26:

The Golden Girls: The Gay Episodes
Starring Heklina, Pollo Del Mar, Matthew Martin, Cookie Dough, Mike Finn, and Laurie Bushman
June 11 through the 26: Thursdays & Fridays 7pm & 9pm; Saturdays 5pm, 7pm, & 9pm; and Sundays 3pm & 5pm.
Special benefit shows on Wednesday June 17 at 7pm (Rocket Dog Rescue) & 9pm (Western Roundup)
Mama Calizo's Voice Factory, 1519 Mission St. @ 11th
For tickets, go to goldengirlssf@earthlink.net

And for alternatives to clubbing:

Bay Area Pride Events
A one one-stop-shop listing of activities for those who like to keep active with bike-riding, roller-skating, hiking, bowling, running, walking, game nights, and square dancing
www.bayareaprideevents.com

Hopefully your Pride also includes the freedom to call in sick to work on the Monday after (once we get marriage equality passed we can start rallying to make Pride a national holiday with a paid recovery day to follow), and then it’ll be an awfully short week before you come to the realization that the Pride never ends in San Francisco.

By Friday, July 3, it’ll be time once again to have a great time while helping our common cause and community, at:

Nasty
A filthy fun-raiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund
Hosted by Nasty Girl Suzan Revah on first Fridays at the Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom

Come by and we’ll toast the frisky, flagrant freedom we are so perversely privileged to enjoy every day here in Oz!

Bring It! May 16, 2009

2009-05-16T12:00:00.000-07:00

It was hardly a cold, dark winter for our city’s nightlife, and spring came with new parties blossoming everywhere. There’s too much of a good thing happening already, and San Francisco summer is arriving with a serious lineup of happening good times. Are you ready?

Gay Day Great America on May 22 is a sweet kickoff to the season, with rollercoaster rides and great shows, including the Trannyshack stage (the Original Fag Hag performs twice, with Heklina and Charisma Glitterati), and shows by Erasure’s Andy Bell, drag Tupperware Lady Dixie Longate, and the always fierce Flava. Dance into the night with the adorable dancing DJ duo The Perry Twins.

Saturday May 23 brings dance parties for every persuasion, from furry grrry action at Bearracuda Basement with DJ Matt Consola at Wunderland, to drop-your-pants-and-dance grooves at Underworld at Space 550 with DJ Kevin Lee, to Asian-inspiration Shangri-La at the Endup with DJ Pegasus.

Sunday May 24 rounds out the holiday weekend celebration, with Trannyshack’s Madonna Tribute Night at Cat Club, bright and bubbly T-dance tunes from DJ Wayne G at Fresh, and extra-manly woofiness for Sanctuary afterhours with DJs David Knapp and Luke Johnstone at 1015 Folsom.

The best thing about our thriving city scene as summer gets underway is that you don’t have to wait until holiday weekends for big and hard entertainment anymore. Your short week back at work after the holiday will barely be enough time to rest before Unity takes over 1015 Folsom on May 30 for DJs Tracy Young and Luke Johnstone. By Sunday May 31 you’ll be ready for some chilled-out, down-home, old-fashioned fun (for a great cause!) at the AEF County Fair in Golden Gate Park. Please stop by my kissing booth for a smooch!

Squeezing it all in will surely take it all out of you, but it’ll be deeply satisfying, and ain’t that why they call it the summer of love in San Francisco, the town we love so much we’d rather vacation right here than anywhere?

DJ Abel Spins the Fun and Keeps the Flame

2009-05-12T12:00:00.000-07:00

Miami-based DJ Abel is a circuit superstar. Period.

On gay dancefloors around the world, he is known by his first name. Like Madonna, or Cher.

He spins regularly in San Francisco, often with his longtime pal and fellow DJ superstar, Ralphi Rosario. Together they are known as Rosabel, and both are celebrating 30-year anniversaries behind the decks this year.

Abel has a special place in his heart for San Francisco, having spun at Universe back in the circuit heyday. “Doing Universe was like going to heaven!” he says. “The way the crowd received me every time I was there was so warm, it was beautiful.”

These days his universe centers around Alegria in New York City, a world-class party where he creates his very own “Universo Alegria” with marathon sessions that consistently bring down the house.

His remix and compilation hits are too numerous to mention, as are the circuit parties around the world where he has made his mark. He continues to make fans everywhere he goes, and he makes them completely rabid for his explosive blend of heavy tribal beats, diva anthems, retooled classics, and afterhours darkness.

Coming up, Abel will spend Memorial Day in Los Angeles spinning what’s likely to be a 12-hour set, before gearing up to play Gay Disney and New York Pride. Once summer is in full swing, he’ll be spinning Pride parties in Brazil, Amsterdam, and Barcelona. He’ll also be at sea on a couple of Atlantis cruises, including the Baltic and the Mediterranean.

This Saturday night he returns to San Francisco to spin at Industry at Mighty, where he’ll share billing with a friend from back in his Universe days, San Francisco’s own DJ Jamie J Sanchez. Abel speaks highly of San Francisco’s taste in music, crediting the city with a wealth of musical talent and leadership.

“I get homesick when I travel, but I feel great about going to San Francisco every time, because I know what I’m getting into when I play in San Francisco,” he says. “The crowd in San Francisco is more about the music than the venue or anything else, and I know I’m ready for that. They better be, too!”

What’s the biggest influence on the kind of set you end up spinning?

The mood of the crowd is one thing I focus on a lot. A lot of people say “We got West Coast Abel,” or “We got East Coast Abel,” but really it depends on the event more than the location. The venue has a lot to do with it as well, and the sound system has a lot to do with the impact I can make on the crowd.

How would you describe your evolution over 30 years as a DJ?

It’s been the most wonderful journey! Watching the music change throughout the years is totally incredible, and at the same time, I haven’t lost too much of what I learned along the way.

When I first started, mixing was very, very difficult, because everything was on vinyl. Mixing two records was a challenge, not like today, when everything’s computerized and you can beatmatch everything perfectly.

The skills that we learned back in that time, a lot of the old-timers can relate to. People like Ralphi Rosario, Frankie Knuckles, and then Warren Gluck and Susan Morabito. You had to have total control of your fingers and your ears to make it happen.

For me, the music itself is not as good as it used to be, and that’s been a challenge, but it’s been beautiful because I still have a little something from back then that I bring to what I’m spinning now. It’s fun to play with those elements today and teach a new generation with those things.

What would you like to teach the new generation of dance music lovers?

The new generation would never think that we were playing music before they were born, or since they were kids, but I’m not ashamed of my age or anything like that.

It’s very important that we teach the new generation what we’ve been through, and what it was like before circuit parties were so polished and pretty like they are now. They might say, “Oh, girl! You’re dating yourself!” but I say no, I should be an inspiration. I’m proud to still be part of this scene 30 years later.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen from the DJ booth?

It’s embarrassing sometimes, but I can remember a few moments I never expected.

I have a group of fans that follow me from New York to Miami, and on my last Atlantis cruise, they got together wearing these New York City subway t-shirts that spelled my name out on the dancefloor. Subway lines A-B-E-L. That was really cute.

But maybe the craziest thing happened back in 1996, when I was playing at one of the biggest clubs in Miami called Icon. It was a packed Friday night, probably 2,000 people in there, and all of a sudden I see these guys getting on top of the speakers and on top of the bars all over the club. They had ski masks and rifles, and I was thinking “I didn’t know about this show…”

I was laughing, wondering what kind of show was about to happen, and people were yelling at me to shut the music off immediately. Then the lights started coming on and I realized it wasn’t a show, it was a raid! At that time, Prince was the owner of the club, and it was a major raid. They were shutting him down, and it was a shocking moment.

You’ve played all over the world, at just about every major Pride event. Are there any gigs you’re still chasing?

I really have played in every city where a gay man lives. I am lucky enough to say I think I’ve done everything except Sydney Mardi Gras, but that’s coming next year.

Do you think you’re typecast as a DJ?

I’ve read reviews where people say things like “Alegria will always be Alegria, and you always know what you’re gonna get.” To some that may mean I’m tired, but most people like consistency, and consistency has always been successful.

Every legendary club that has been around for decades has had a single DJ or 2 DJs, and people get used to that sound. Where there’s consistency, there’s a consistent crowd. Some new promoters don’t get that, but I’m a firm believer in the idea of a resident DJ. Consistency is why people follow DJs.

I am typecast a little bit. Like when I played at The Pines on Fire Island, that was a big shock for a lot of people, and a lot of people said they had never heard that side of me before.

Fire Island is an extremely picky place to play music. They have a particular sound, which was developed with all the house parties and the beach parties, so when you do a party like Pines, the crowd expects to hear those particular classics, and they’re really serious about it. If you don’t know what classics to play and play them, you’re in trouble!

I had everyone in shock with my selection, and it’s a feeling that I will never forget. In my 30-year history, that was probably the hardest I’ve worked to put a party together. I’ve never done something so intense and so rewarding.

I always said I’d never be able to play Fire Island, but they kept inviting me, and I kept saying “I can’t.” Until the mayor called me himself to ask me to do that party! I ended up being the first DJ in Fire Island history to do the whole party by himself, and to come back a second year and do an encore.

I live for this one acapella track you play all the time, something about “so fuck you”?

(laughs) That’s my signature. I love it!

I love her rudeness, her, pardon the expression, her cuntiness. “You said you’d buy me a big black escalade… You said you’d take me on a trip around the world, but you didn’t, so fuck you!”

It’s an old track, and the actual song itself doesn’t sound that good, but that’s a classic for me. The Alegria classics are the ones that I bring out at special moments. Songs like “La Puta, which is my voice and Ralphi Rosario’s. It’s actually mine and Ralphi’s cat fight over the phone!

“Kiss My Ass!” is another one, as is “Free My Ass.” (laughs again) People sometimes forget to have fun in the clubs, and sometimes you need to remind them, and that’s why I do that. It’s a release, to make people laugh and giggle.

Only me and Ralphi and a few others do that, and to me that’s 30 years of experience.

Bring It! April 25, 2008

2008-04-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

I've been back from the White Party Palm Springs for days now, and my ass STILL hurts! Not for the same reason as all the other boys, of course, but doesn't that sound fun?

Fun doesn't even begin to describe my first time at one of the hottest dance parties on the planet. It was so major on so many levels that I can only describe it by chanting the lyrics to the Kim English anthem "Unspeakable Joy," which has been a relentless earmworm in my brain ever since I returned from my epic pilgrimage to the disco desert.

The nearly 20-year-old White Party might sound like a tired circuit cliché, but it is still very much a rite of gay passage. And as with anything in this big gay world of ours, it's all about what you bring to it. I brought my 2 best girls, 8 of my best gays, and enough glitter to sink a bathhouse. The joy flowed from there, and it was highly contagious.

Bringing the Pussy Posse to the White Party transformed it from just a crazed blur of beautiful boys – not that there's anything wrong with THAT! – into a life-affirming celebration of freedom and friendship. Together we anticipated our arrival, stormed every party as a united front of fabulosity, widened our circle of friends as we went, and shamelessly infused our positive energy into everything.

We shared in the dancefloor’s climactic release every night, and we shared in the pain of post-circuit recovery upon returning to reality, but we brought the white-hot enthusiasm of the weekend back with us and, to quote Kim English "they did not give it, they cannot take it away."

The indelible memories made along the way remind me that even though the circuit is evolving and maturing and (sigh) mainstreaming, it’s still possible to create community on the spot under the disco ball, and to feel that strong sense of connection you just can’t get anywhere else.

The moments of unspeakable White Party joy were many. I loved performing circuit community service when I lined up boys at The Underwear Party to do handstands in their manties, convincing them how important it is to get blood circulating away from your feet when you’ve been dancing on them for days. A private, acapella performance from Frenchie Davis after we arrived late for her poolside show was another unforgettable highlight. Later that night, the White Party itself was fantastic in its scale, though the glitz and grandeur was most impressive because it really made us appreciate the intimacy of the smaller clubs that keep our circuit alive today.

Still, intimacy was never out of reach, with familiar San Francisco faces everywhere and regular reunions with boys from Atlantis cruises past. I even got to throw a leg over Blatino heartthrob Wilson Cruz. I’m still swooning!

At the X-treme T-Dance, by far the favorite party of the weekend, the pussies bonded over shared bruises when we threw ourselves down the bouncy slide every way we could think of until we collapsed into a pile of giggles. (My ass is still covered in rubber burns, and I'm loving letting people wonder just how, exactly, they got there.)

Celebrity sightings and impossibly perfect Southern California boys in bikinis aside, we never lost sight of our mission to fully represent for San Francisco, even as we took our fruity, flowery, friskiness on the road in search of new homo horizons. As the sun set on the White Party, there was never a doubt that there’s no place like home, where we need no excuse to be happy and gay every day, and in every way!

Bring It! March 7, 2008

2008-03-07T12:00:00.000-08:00

San Francisco hosts at least one superstar DJ every single weekend, which is a beautiful thing to be able to take for granted, especially when you rely on regular dancefloor sweat sessions the way most people rely on regular psychotherapy.

The fact that any weekend can turn into a world-class circuit party is another thing to love about our supposedly sleeper city. We may get written off as a backwater Babylon, but our nightlife scene is over the top even for a non-sleeper like me.

Holiday weekends like the International Bear Rendezvous (I hear it was Presidents Day, too) do tend to be more happening, but I was damn impressed by the massive influx of massive men, and all the around-the-clock action between SOMA and the ‘stro.

Ghetto Disco with DJs Ted Eiel, Blaine Soleau, Hawthorne & Sean Greene, the first of three Sweat parties, delivered on its promise of “Big Men, Big Music, Big Night.” It was as gay as I’ve seen The Endup in years of fag Fridays, which warmed my heart, and warmed up the bear boys and the porn boys alike before the next night’s GAYVN Awards. I had the pleasure of sitting at the Titan table with some highly aroused hotties who were ready to keep the party going at the second Sweat. Thinking I was pacing myself, I instead did a drive-by at “a filthy underground house party” called Salon Nights, but didn’t even call it a night after that because all my boys ended up at Adonis with DJ Josh Peace and I couldn’t stand the thought of not joining them.

Sunday was crazier still, and the frisky, woofy energy carried through three more parties, any one of which would have made for a memorable weekend anywhere.
Fresh’s 6-year anniversary with DJ Manny Lehman was predictably packed with smiling, glistening muscle mans. I had to tear myself away to check out Play with DJ Susan Morabito, but the third Sweat was the charm for me, as Sanctuary with DJ Phil B blew the roof off of one of my favorite venues in the city, Club NV. The party went full-tilt all night long, and the back rooms were in full swing!

It took me nearly all week to recover from that debaucherous danceathon before I was back at Ghetto Disco for my favorite DJ, Jamie J Sanchez. We laughed about carefully strategizing our disco naps before the next night’s Industry with Rosabel, with Jamie and the second half of our hometown dynamic DJ duo, DJ Luke Johnstone, hosting circuit celebrities DJs Ralphi Rosario and Abel.

I need to keep weekends like these in mind the next time someone tells me San Francisco’s club scene is dead. If anything’s dead, it’s me every Monday morning, when I finally get to take a break from our “dead” club scene in my corporate cubicle!

Coming up on Friday, March 7, I’ll be bringing it at Ghetto Disco with DJ Chris Cox. Saturday, March 8, I’ll be backup dancing for larger-than-life drag queens at The Classic Divas Monster Show with Cookie Dough & DJ MC2 at Harvey’s, before heading back to Adonis, this time with DJ Matt Consola.

Bring It! February 22, 2008

2008-02-22T12:00:00.000-08:00

One of the many things to love about San Francisco is how worlds collide in a big glittery pileup.

We’re all suffering from multiple personality syndrome in the best way possible, constantly proving that you can’t make assumptions about anyone in this freedom-loving town full of people who live up to the poetic words of one of my fag hag heroes, Deee-Lite’s Lady Miss Kier:

“Your groove I do deeply dig. No walls, only the bridge.”

Lately I’m deeply digging on my beloved gay boyfriend Steven Satyricon, who redefines the term crossover artist. A member of Boylesque and a resident gogo dancer at Bootie, he also gogo dances with me at Bebe Sweetbriar’s Castro T-dance, The Launch Party at JET. At the most recent Launch, he fiercely transformed from scary drag queen to jockstrap-sporting stud in a swoon-inducing solo performance to Madonna’s “Like it or Not.”

I love how Steven’s groove defies categorization. Circuit boy? Yes. Faux king? Sometimes. Punk-flavored Powerpuff girl? Yeah, he’s that too.

Recently, he joined me in playing the role of belly dancer (one of my many multiple personalities), when I crossed another bridge at an underground party called Bibi Love, a not-for-profit event for the queer South West Asian, North African, Middle Eastern (SWANA) community and their friends.

I always assumed that two of my worlds in particular, first-generation Turkish-American and hard-core club hag, would never crossover. I celebrated being proven wrong by dressing up the Pussy Posse in gypsy couture and shimmying all over the Bibi dancefloor. It was a special experience, shared by many others at the packed party, which was closed to the press to allow for maximum freedom of expression.

Another great thing about San Francisco is having the freedom to vote for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness on our own terms. While the rest of the country is talking about Hillary and Obama, we’ve got our own fabulous form of imperialism, and our very own election season with The Royal Court.

I was honored to support democracy by performing at a campaign kickoff event at Marlena’s for Mercedez Munro’s Empress run. Faux king Johnny Cocksville did a moody number about dancing away heartache and pain. As founder of the Mother of Invention Acting School, he knew that theme would highly motivate myself and my ever-faithful gay boyfriend Joanna Parks as his backup dancers/lip-synchers, and he dubbed us The Flaming Gardenias in honor of the flowers we always wear in our hair to show our San Francisco spirit. Special thanks to Urban Flowers for keeping us in fragrant gardenias year-round.

Just a few numbers later, Joanna and I were back at it, this time as Kit Kat Girls in Charisma Glitterati’s adorable number from Cabaret, “Don’t Tell Mama.” Ultra-glamorous Mercedez won me over when she invited us all to enjoy the buffet she provided for those “singing for their supper,” and Erykah Dayé Munro became the patron saint of fag hags everywhere when she (in boy) gave us girls a shout-out for playing supporting roles in what sometimes seems like every other number on the drag circuit. Loves her!

Lots of love in the house at Lucky Pierre, which hosted “Wet: A Birthday Bash for Miss Trannyshack Pollo Del Mar” at The Stud. The Glitterati gang arrived in silly swimwear and Super Soakers to drench the party in festivity despite winter weather. Afterwards we warmed up at Ghetto Disco, the Endup’s Friday night party hosted by DJ Hawthorne, who, along with Aaron Marxmiller providing choice beefcake on the gogo box, never disappoints the dancefloor.

The first party of the year at Temple was everything a T-dance should be, with DJs Wayne G and Luke Johnstone serving up the happy and then giving it away at the door on CDs. Membership has its privileges at Industry & Matinee, and I proudly purchased my 4th Boy Badge. I’ve got no problem paying my fag hag dues when they come with discounted entry all year long, plus discounts all over the Castro, including at circuit soundtrack headquarters, Medium Rare Records. London’s Wayne G wasn’t content to stay in headphones all night, and joined us on the dancefloor at the Matinee afterparty, Thick at Club Ei8ht, where DJ Frank Wild celebrated his birthday by giving us all the gift of deep dark house music.

Here’s where I’ll be bringing it coming up: On Friday, February 22 I’ll be waving my hands in the air for DJ Jamie J Sanchez at Ghetto Disco, and on February 23 I’ll be doing double-duty performing at Bootie then stomping the circuit with double-your-pleasure Rosabel, AKA DJs Ralphi Rosario and Abel, at Industry. Sunday February 24 I’ll be working the positive vibe at Revolution at Club Ei8ht with sugar-sweet DJ Robbie Martin.

I hope our multiple personality paths cross somewhere along the way….

Bring It! January 4, 2008

2008-01-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

Life is SO much better now that I have a gay hairstylist again!

When you’re trying to get the right cut for your corporate-whore-by-day/circuit-whore-by-night lifestyle, a date at the salon shouldn’t be a chore, but an intimate, therapeutic sistah-session that puts a spring in your step.

As much as I love the rocker girls at the salon my former hairstylist (and fairy godfather) entrusted me to when he and his partner left the city to become homeowners, I was uninspired. A homo-free hair experience is simply unacceptable for the Original Fag Hag!

In San Francisco, I knew it was only a matter of time before serendipity did its thing. It happened on a double date in which the hag actually scored! (Well, a hairstylist, anyway.) I fell in hag-on-fag love with him at first sight, and swooned when he invited me to a party at his Castro apartment. He was a flawless host, and when I complimented him on his culinary artistry, someone said I should see the magic he works with hair.

Our next date was at Barber Lounge on Folsom between 4th and 5th. The salon is immaculate and tasteful, and highly fabulous. So was my cut from the sweet and multitalented Gib, who also happens to be HOT.

It was just what I’d been missing. We gabbed about everything, philosophical to frivolous. We reflected on how things never stay the same, whether it’s with hairstylists or our club scene in the city. (Gib also loves to dance. Swoon again!) I know I reduce everything to a dancefloor metaphor, but it works, so here goes: Change is inevitable, whether it’s about where to cut your hair or where to shake your ass, so there’s no choice but to embrace it.

Now that I’m in love with my gay hairstylist again, I’m reminded that change can be a good thing. Sometimes it’s just a matter of acknowledging that the time for change has come, and then working it.

Here’s where I’ll be working it coming up: I’ll be dancing between drag queens at The Industrial Strength Monster Show at Harvey's on the 12th, and on the 13th I’ll be dancing on the gogo box and supporting my girls Charisma Glitterati and Bebe Sweetbriar at the cutest Castro T-dance ever, The Launch Party at JET.

Next weekend will be huge on the dancefloor, with Industry at Club Mighty on the 19th featuring DJ Jamie J Sanchez and DJ Rob Kaftan, and the first Fresh of the year at Ruby Skye on the 20th with DJ Brett Henrichsen.

Please join me and my Pussy Posse and help us make the best of whatever changes this shiny new year will bring!

Photos:

From MASS at 1015 Folsom this past Sunday night, 12/30 (photo taken by Gus himself):
http://www.guspresents.com/photos/main.php?g2_itemId=6385

Gib Bolton, The Barber Lounge:
http://www.barberlounge.com/team08.html

And from my recent photo shoot with Michael Smith:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/72286452@N00/2166907210/
(kind of fits the New Year’s flavor of the column?)

Bring It! December 7, 2007

2007-12-07T12:00:00.000-08:00

It was Friday night, and I was faced with a dress-up dilemma worthy of a Project Runway Challenge. My budget and energy were running low, but my plan for the evening included 2 birthday parties: one for a cub friend hosting a Come as Ugly as Possible party, another for a girlfriend at a hetero-heavy disco dance party called Paradise.

I arrived at the perfect solution while waiting for the clock to strike 5 at my day job, and when I arrived at the bear party rocking a hideous Freddie Mercury mustache, I was a hit. I even learned new gay vocab when someone referred to me as “Goldilocks,” the bear community’s term of endearment for a fag hag.

But even the most experienced fag hag is at a loss for words to describe departing said bear party and running out into Market Street, stripper heels clacking loudly as I’m ripping the afro from my head, and getting the call from my drag queens, urgently inviting me to join them in their limo headed for Paradise.

I needed a moment to shift gears and apply a more appropriate amount of glitter, and the air kisses and Dom Perignon helped smooth the transition. I had to smile as my friend Suga Rim pointed out that most people just don’t have the same kinds of problems we do here in the homo headquarters of the world, including how to transform from Forget Fashion Ugliness to Decadent Disco Drag while on the go and under the gun.

I call that “just another Friday night in San Francisco,” and bringing it no matter what scene you might find yourself in. It’s a damn nice problem to have!

Coming up, my dilemma will be how to attend all of the following in the midst of the frenzied holiday season: the new Fag Fridays at Pink with DJ Quentin Harris on the 14th, Black XXXmas with DJ Abel & DJ Luke Johnstone at Factory and/or Supersonic Sundays at SF Underground on the 15th, Fresh with DJ Kimberly S at Ruby Skye and/or Thick with DJ Robbie Martin at Club Eight on the 16th, Heat at The Stud on the 21st, and the Christmas episodes of the Golden Girls.

Bring It! November 23, 2007

2007-11-23T12:00:00.000-08:00

I was so beyond grateful that I got to spend this Thanksgiving with my San Framily, it got me thinking about all the only-in-San Francisco things that make me so thankful I live here (and spend every cent of my disposable income on decadence and frivolity).

Twisted fag hag that I am, I often see the city’s club scene as a metaphor for life. It changes and evolves constantly, and people love to wax sentimental about the good old days, but I’m in a mood to appreciate the here and now.

These days, we have to give to get. Our smaller but more numerous clubs live and die over what we’re willing to bring to the table. Some weeks we’re satisfied, and others we go hungry, but we never have a night off, which means we always have more than enough.

When I have a wildly different take than friends at the same club dancing to the same music, it’s a reminder that there really is something for every dance queen in this town of plenty. The dark and spare beats that do nothing for me obviously scratch an itch for others, probably the same guys who roll their eyes when the screaming divas set me off on the dancefloor.

This give and take is a good thing, exposing us beyond our comfort zone, and keeping us honest about our love of diversity. I say if you can’t be at the club you love, honey, love the clubs you’re at. Keep on bringing it and making the best of it, and eventually you’ll get yours.

Coming up on November 30, I’m trying out Paradise, an all-night disco party at Mezzanine with an 18-piece live band. On December 2 I’ll do my best to get into the frosty spirit of Winter Wonderland Matinee at Temple, and December 5 I’ll be dishing with all the other GLOSS columnists at Lime. I’m especially looking forward to December 9, when I’ll be dancing on the gogo box at The Launch Party at JET, my favorite T-dance in the Gayborhood. I always get the happy vibe I’m looking for there, and with cohosts Bebe Sweetbriar and Heklina raising money for the AIDS Housing Alliance SF, having a good time there means also supporting a good cause, and that’s as good as it gets!

Bring It! November 8, 2007

2007-11-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

Am I gay yet?

A button with this cute one-liner lives on my purse, my way of wearing my heart on my sleeve. But just when I thought I couldn't possibly be any gayer (or at least as gay as a gay man trapped inside the body of a hetero-flexible married woman can be), I found myself on an Atlantis cruise. My idea of heaven on earth was redefined, broadened to include not only the Castro, but also what my fellow sea-men and I lovingly described as the “dick deck,” by the pool on the big gay party boat.

"Every day in San Francisco is just like being on this boat," I’d explain to anyone who couldn’t quite grasp what I was doing there with 2,100 frolicking boys in Speedos. But that's not exactly true. While there's no place like home, a willingly captive community of happy homos at sea was even better, too good to be true. You know it’s a fabulous event when you come home to San Fran-fucking-cisco and it seems a little less sparkly and swishy!

I'm over my post-cruise blues now that I'm back into the rhythm of life as a circuit sister, drag hag, and gayborhood activist. It’s nice to be reminded that the beauty and magic of San Francisco is that you don't have to go anywhere at all to get your full gay on.

I might have finally earned full-fledged homosexual status on that cruise, going where no straight-ish woman has gone before. If nothing else, I’ve renewed my vow to be the biggest, proudest fag hag I can be, and I hope you’ll join me as I bring some of that smiling, carefree kinship back from utopian Atlantis world to the dancefloors and drag shows of the perpetual gay cruise known as San Francisco.

Join me at Ghetto Disco, the new flaming Friday party at the Endup, or at The Miss Trannyshack pageant on November 17, where I’ll be playing the roles of backup dancer and supportive stage mother to the city’s finest queens in heels. Maybe you’d rather dance with me and the beefcake bears at Basket’s Bombs over the Bay party at Club Eight on November 24, or watch me climb all over the muscle mans at Fresh November 18, and at Industry on November 24. Look for the girl with flowers in her hair, or just look for the girl!

We’ll have a gay old time, and we’ll bring it like San Franciscans do every day of the year!

Just another Tuesday afternoon in San Francisco

2007-07-25T17:12:00.001-07:00

So I’m sitting in my cubicle at work early Tuesday morning, trying to put on a fresh face for an 8:00 a.m. team meeting with my big boss from the East Coast, whom we call the “K-Hole,” (and not in a complimentary way. His first name starts with the letter K, and you can figure out what the rest refers to).

He’s come to tell us the crappy news that my direct boss has quit. Not a surprise. Anyone with brains or ambition or even an ounce of creativity eventually runs screaming from my corporate job, which is just like a Dilbert comic strip, only not funny. But for me, being able to sit still and turn off my brain from 8-5 during the week is somewhat therapeutic, especially when compared to how much physical exertion and brain power goes into cruise directing my weekends.

So the K-Hole is droning on endlessly about “opportunity,” and “managing the end-to-end experience,” and “dialoguing,” and I’m doing what I usually do, translating this into my real job as the Original Fag Hag.

I’m regretting all the missed "opportunities" I’ve had over the years to post juicy little tidbits on my blog, which I only recently and very belatedly started; contemplating the "end-to-end experience" my weekend coming up will be, given the charity pool party, dance classes, Dore Alley street fair and 2 circuit parties I’m going to; and jotting down notes for how I will be "dialoguing" about this experience to as much of gay San Francisco will listen.

But on this day (which ultimately sucks hard for me, because my cool boss who didn’t give a shit about how much time I put in is history), I have an impish grin on my face because when the clock strikes noon, I’m out.

I’m off to participate in the filming of a promotional DVD for the new Sunday T-Dance at JET, which I’ve been asked to gogodance at by Bebe Sweetbriar, a wonderful charity drag queen who also happens to be fucking fierce in every way. I met her at the Marlena’s Dragathon just the week before Pride, where she hosted the hour before the one in which I got to be Beyonce for 5 minutes. She’s super-professional, she’s got a plan, and she’s doing it all for a good cause, which makes her my hero. (Not unlike Donna Sachet, who is hosting the Equality California pool party I’m attending on Saturday even though I can’t afford it.)

So we’re filming at JET (thank goodness I work so close to the Castro!), and I meet one of the 2 gogoboys I’ll be dancing with on August 12. Of course he’s delicious, though not my usual type (blond, tall, sweet), which is why I’m so taken aback when he flashes me an impish grin, upon recognizing me. Apparently I’ve climbed atop this gogoboy before, along with his partner, on the dancefloor at Fresh. He’s just put it all together, because on this day my hair is down and wild, and on the dancefloor it’s always restrained, adorned with flowers.

He’s a doll, and when I start recognizing his tattoos from the gym, I finally start putting it all together, too. We’re mutually thrilled that we’ll be dancing together, and we’re giggling and squealing about all the fun events coming up for the weekend.

I am swooning.

Then we film the last shot for the day, in what will be the “first-class” area of the airline-themed party. On a pole. I’ve never danced on pole before (I’m scared! A girl could really hurt herself!), and neither has gogoboy. But we are game. We climb on pole, and all over and around and under each other, until we are wet and panting.

Not bad for a Tuesday afternoon. And I got a bonus cardio workout, too!

CRUISE DIRECTOR ALERT: Splash, freeze and play on Dore weekend

2007-07-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

Hi friends!

Hard to believe how quickly the summer is just racing by, and that it’s already time for our down n’ dirty leather street festival, Dore Alley. Last year at this time I was in San Diego for Pride and had to miss this intimate and local fave, so I’ll be looking to make up for lost time!

Fortunately, it’s a weekend jam-packed with fun, by the pool, on the dancefloor, and in the streets:

Saturday, July 28 (daytime)

Splash 2 Pool Party

Join LGBT civil rights and advocacy organization Equality California to raise funds for a great cause, and to see a special performance by none other than the Original Fag Hag’s role model and hero, Donna Sachet (http://www.donnasachet.com/)

12-4 at the Imperial Palace

3900 21^st Street @ Castro

Tickets $50 online at :

http://www.eqca.org/site/apps/cd/content.asp?c=9oINKWMCF&b=40331&event_id={DBC23C2B-24F3-4DEB-9F74-7815D5A76C3B}&content_id={333E0A77-54E6-4AC1-AB91-9346D1606460}&seid=

Saturday, July 28 (nighttime)

Arctic Babylon with DJ Manny Lehman, DJ Luke Johnstone, RKM, and a live performance by Flava (http://www.flavalive.com/)

Nevermind that the Original Fag Hag’s favorite soap opera, Queer as Folk, has been off the air for YEARS, and that this affiliated circuit party has been moved from its former home at Mezzanine, your cruise director’s favorite venue. Here’s a great chance to see a world-class DJ in a very cozy club, and a chance to see the inimitable, amazing, and always overflowing with happy energy Mark Miller (aka Miss Miller) on the gogo box!

Embrace Productions will build Arctic Babylon, transforming dance floors into sexy winter wonderlands with over-the-top visuals and décor including floor to ceiling icicles, glaciers, and of course, snow frosted dancers. Arctic Babylon Tour is the most visually stunning of all past Babylon adventures, stimulating the full Babylon experience.

Mighty

119 Utah Street @ 15^th

10pm-6am

$20 advance tickets available at BODY on Castro, $30 door

http://www.enterbabylon.com/ (for general info about the nationwide tour)

http://www.mighty119.com/gallery/index_flyers.html#industry (for local details)

Also Saturday night, for those of you who want to get a head start on your Dore Alley celebration, this party sounds totally hot, with the Cat Club opening up extra floors for the occasion:

Bay of Pigs

Three Floors of Debauchery, with DJ Paulo in the main room, DJ Nikita in the Dungeon Lounge on the 2nd floor, and Tattoo Chris hosting the evening

http://www.folsomstreetevents.org/bayofpigs/

Cat Club
1190 Folsom
10pm - 4am

$30.00 advance tix available at Rock Hard and Mr S. Leather

$40.00 At the door (if available) night of the event.

Sunday, July 29

Let’s start the day off right, nice and early, with mimosas at our usual Sunday brunching spot, Squat & Gobble Castro, at Noe & Market. We’ll be there at 10:00 a.m. (NOTE: not the usual 11:30 a.m.!), already decked out in our leather and camouflage gear (just FYI, that’s this year’s “butch and natural” theme for the 3 women who will be attending), so we’ll be ready to go directly to Dore immediately following.

Up Your Alley Street Fair, (aka Dore Alley)

11am-6pm

Dore Alley, between Folsom and Howard Streets and the adjoining block of Folsom between 9th and 10th Streets

http://www.folsomstreetevents.org/alley/images/UYA2007_600px.jpg

Immediately following the fair, we’ll regroup and briefly rest before gearing up for one more dance party before the weekend’s over:

Play (“Flirt. Frolic. Dance.”)

Official T-Dance and Gear Party of the Up Your Alley Street Fair

DJ David Knapp

5pm-midnight

DNA Lounge

375 11^th Street @ Harrison

$20 advance from Play Pals

$25 advance at PO Plus Castro, Mister S or online

$30 door

http://www.ptyronepresents.com/

NEXT WEEKEND:

Sunday, August 5

Matinee with DJs Wayne G and Luke Johnstone @ Temple

New venue! Howard between 1st & 2nd

BEYOND:

Sunday, August 12

Your faithful cruise director debuts on the gogo box at a brand new T-dance in the gayborhood, The Launch Party at JET, 3pm-9pm

ALSO on August 12:

Jamie J Sanchez at Fresh

http://www.freshsf.com/

Hope to see you soon!

Your faithful cruise director,

Suzan

www.originalfaghag.com

http://originalfaghag.blogspot.com/

CRUISE DIRECTOR ALERT: Bouncin’ back from the birthday

2007-07-18T07:30:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone!

Been swimmin’ around in a lot of champagne and a lot of love this past week, and really wanted to thank all of you so much for the embarrassingly excessive birthday wishes and bubbly and gifts and rallying. It’s so nice to get so many warm fuzzies at my advanced age!

Haven’t been seen on the big gay dance circuit since (gasp!) Independence Day, so I’m ready to pounce this weekend. Here’s what’s coming up:

Saturday, July 21:

Adonis with DJ Escape

10pm - late

$15 before 11pm, $20 after

Club NV

525 Howard @ 1st

http://www.guspresents.com/adonis/

Also Saturday:

Nonstop Bhangra

So much more than just the typical club night, Non-Stop Bhangra is a collective vision that has taken the SF dance scene by storm, featuring live dhol (drum) players, dance performances, dance lessons and DJs dedicated to sharing the art of Bhangra.

9pm – 2am

10 advance, $15 door

Rickshaw Stop

155 Fell Street @ Van Ness

http://www.nonstopbhangra.com/

Sunday, July 22:

Fresh with DJ Scotty K

Ruby Skye

420 Mason Street @ Geary

6pm-midnight

$20 before 6:30, $25 after

http://www.freshsf.com/

Also wanted to mention something that keeps popping up on the lips of all SF’s finest cabaret queens, cuz it’s a limited engagement and people keep telling me things like “Run, do not walk, to get your tickets!”:

Kiki & Herb

July 13–29

A.C.T. - 415 Geary St.
Kiki (Justin Bond) is a brash, boozy septuagenarian chanteuse. She's seen it all and done it all, just don't expect her to remember it all. On stage with her stalwart accompanist and only living friend Herb (Kenny Mellman), Kiki lets rip with political rants, searing social commentary and confessions about their own highs and lows. Together they've self-medicated their way through numerous regimes, fads and fascists, presidencies, pregnancies and personal challenges that would send most people into rehab or retirement, but not Kiki & Herb. They don't quit!

http://act-sf.org/index.cfm?s_id=&pid=tkt_kah

BEYOND:

Saturday, July 28 (daytime)

Splash 2 party at the Imperial Palace with Donna Sachet (Marriage Equality fundraiser)

http://www.eqca.org/site/apps/cd/content.asp?c=9oINKWMCF&b=40331&event_id={DBC23C2B-24F3-4DEB-9F74-7815D5A76C3B}&content_id={333E0A77-54E6-4AC1-AB91-9346D1606460}&seid=

Saturday, July 28 (nighttime)

Arctic Babylon at Mighty

http://www.enterbabylon.com/

Bay of Pigs

http://www.folsomstreetevents.org/bayofpigs/

Sunday, July 29 (daytime)

Dore Alley

http://www.folsomstreetevents.org/alley/images/UYA2007_600px.jpg

Sunday, July 29 (nighttime)

Play

http://www.ptyronepresents.com/

As always, please keep my cell phone number handy for anytime you want to find me and join me (and most especially if you want to cruise direct ME!) –

415.305.2916. And please let me know if you’d rather not receive my “alerts.”

Your faithful cruise director,
Suzan

www.originalfaghag.com

http://originalfaghag.blogspot.com/

I'm so gay!

2007-07-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

Got some big-time birthday love this weekend from my main gays, who sang this little ditty to me on Boy Beach...

You're So Gay
(to the tune of "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon)

You danced into the disco
Like you were dancing onto a yacht
Your wig strategically dipped below one eye
Its color was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the boys dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so gay
You probably think this song is about you
You're so gay
I'll bet you think this song is about sex
Don't you? Don't you?

You dressed me several years ago
When I was in your closet
Well, you said that my dress made me look fat
And that you should wear it instead
You took away the things I loved
And one was my naivete
I had some dreams they were clouds in my champers
Clouds in my champers, and

You're so gay
You probably think this song is about sex
You're so gay
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
I had some dreams they were clouds in my champers
Clouds in my champers, and

You're so gay
You probably think this song is about you
You're so gay
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Well, I hear you went out to Pink Saturday
And your ass naturally won
You dragged your pals all over town
Then you drank your Sofia at Dolores Park Boy Beach
To see the total eclipse of the buns
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're at
Some underwear dance or a disco in the hood
Disco in the hood, and

You're so gay
You probably think this song is about sex
You're so gay
I'll bet you think this song is about drugs
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?

You're so gay
You probably think this song is pathetic
You're so gay
You probably think this song is about sex
You're so gay
You probably think this song is about drugs
You're so gay (so gay) I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?

CRUISE DIRECTOR ALERT: Get my groove back!

2007-07-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I’ve officially traded in my “Why oh why does Pride come but once a year?” mantra for “Thank goodness Pride only happens once a year.”

This particular Pride was a hum-&!@#$@*-dinger, and I’m only just now back to good health. Fortunately, the circuit gods of San Francisco took mercy on my glitter-overdosing soul, and the club scene has been relatively quiet of late. In fact, none of my fave dance parties are happening this weekend, so it’s looking like more R&R is in store.

However, this Saturday, July 14, is Bastille Day, and there’s nothing your faithful cruise director likes more than an excuse to eat cake, drink champagne, dress scantily, and yell “Vive Le France!”

I know I just finished saying that I was going to rest this weekend, but you know I can’t help myself, and actually, dancing at a straight club sort of counts as taking a night off for me. So, unless I’m incapacitated by too much champagne, I’m gonna don my French maid outfit and check out:

Celebrate Bastille Day with "Bardot a Go Go"!! Called "Best Substitute for a Parisian Disco" by the Bay Guardian and "carbonated, contagious" by SF Weekly, "Bardot a Go Go" celebrates its ninth year of playing swinging '60s French pop from the likes of Serge Gainsbourg, Jacques Dutronc, and of course Brigitte Bardot. This year, co-founders Brother Grimm and Cali Kid bring you the best in French pop, as well as Northern Soul, shagadelic electro, '60s psych, and mod pop. There'll also be drink specials, go-go girls, and Frenchie visuals. Shagadelic attire encouraged.

Bastille Day "Bardot a Go Go"
w/ co-founders Brother Grimm, Pink Frankenstein, and Cali Kid

Saturday, July 14
Rickshaw Stop
155 Fell Street @ Van Ness
9 p.m., $10
www.bardotagogo.com

Also this Saturday, and also in honor of Bastille Day (I can’t go, but you should!):

The Big Gay Frat House is excited to announce the next Girl Drink Drunk, a benefit for the SF Gold Diggers gay hockey team. This month’s femcee, Trauma Flintstone, is performing with Connie Champagne at the New Conservatory Theatre, welcoming special guest femcee Landa Lakes.

Girl Drink Drunk features music, dancing, amazing performances, male strippers, and an open bar sponsored this month by Michael Daniels of Young's Market.

This month will feature special guest performances from:

Ethel Merman
Mercedes Monroe , Miss Gay San Francisco
Samantha Richards
Two male strippers (and we're still trying to get some hockey boys strip, too!)

Girl Drink Drunk
Big Gay Frat House, 630 Castro Street @ 19th St.
Doors Open: 7:00 pm
Performances Begin: 8:00 pm
Tickets: $20 in advance; $25 at the door
http://www.biggayfrathouse.com/events/events_20070714.htm

NEXT WEEKEND:

It’s back to the circuit hard and heavy, with a double-header:

Saturday, July 21:

Adonis with DJ Escape

Sunday, July 22:

Fresh with DJ Scotty K

BEYOND:

Saturday, July 28 (daytime)

Splash 2 party at the Imperial Palace with Donna Sachet (Marriage Equality fundraiser)

Saturday, July 28 (nighttime)

Arctic Babylon at Mezzanine

Sunday, July 29

Dore Alley

Hope you all are enjoying summer in San Francisco, and hope to see you soon – here, there, or everywhere!

Your faithful cruise director,
Suzan
www.originalfaghag.com

CRUISE DIRECTOR ALERT: Pride hangover

2007-07-08T15:58:00.000-07:00

Hey friends!

Ouch. My glitter hurts. The very sight of rainbow anything makes me a touch queasy…

But it was SO worth it! I celebrated until I had no pride left to give!

Hope you all had a B-A-N-A-N-A-S Pride weekend. I know I did. In fact it was a little TOO much fun, cuz now I’m under the weather. But your ever-faithful cruise director is still hoping to recover in time to make it back to the dancefloor tomorrow night, to lick my Pride wounds to the sounds of some healing beats, and to get in a good night of restorative cardio.

I hope you’ll join me, because there’s some GREAT parties in store:

Saturday, June 30:

Industry @ Mighty

“Double Trouble” with DJs Paulo & Jamie J Sanchez
The theme for the night will be dark and dirty, with Jamie J spinning upbeat vibes until 1 a.m., then turning over the tables to Paulo for dirty tribal grooves until dawn.

Doors: 10 p.m. - dawn
$10 Adv, $20 Door, SPECIAL: 2-for-1 Entry before 11:30 p.m.
119 Utah Street @ 15th St.

http://www.industrysf.com/

Sunday, July 1:

Hoping to keep things mellow and restore some sort of normalcy to life through my favorite and typical Sunday routine:

1) Maria Stanford’s yoga “church” at Gold’s Gym Castro, 9:15-10:45

2) Brunch and mimosas at Squat & Gobble at 11:30 at Noe & Market

3) Lying horizontal and observing boys in speedos at Boy Beach Dolores Park for the rest of the afternoon…

But wait! That’s not all! There’s yet another holiday next week, and yet another dancefloor awaits…

Tuesday, July 3:

IndepenDANCE with DJ's Phil B & Luke Johnstone

The producers of Matinee are teaming up with Gus Presents to bring us more double trouble, with a night full of uplifting, energetic tunes to help us celebrate the 4^th of July.

715 Harrison @ 3^rd

$10 advance, $20 door

Extended hours: 8pm – 4am

http://www.guspresents.com

Now ain’t that just the perfect backdrop by which to appreciate how lucky are we that, in San Francisco, every weekend is filled with pride?

Looking forward to shaking my booty and chilling in the gayborhood with you...

Your faithful cruise director,
Suzan
www.originalfaghag.com