It was Friday night, and I was faced with a dress-up dilemma worthy of a Project Runway Challenge. My budget and energy were running low, but my plan for the evening included 2 birthday parties: one for a cub friend hosting a Come as Ugly as Possible party, another for a girlfriend at a hetero-heavy disco dance party called Paradise.
I arrived at the perfect solution while waiting for the clock to strike 5 at my day job, and when I arrived at the bear party rocking a hideous Freddie Mercury mustache, I was a hit. I even learned new gay vocab when someone referred to me as “Goldilocks,” the bear community’s term of endearment for a fag hag.
But even the most experienced fag hag is at a loss for words to describe departing said bear party and running out into Market Street, stripper heels clacking loudly as I’m ripping the afro from my head, and getting the call from my drag queens, urgently inviting me to join them in their limo headed for Paradise.
I needed a moment to shift gears and apply a more appropriate amount of glitter, and the air kisses and Dom Perignon helped smooth the transition. I had to smile as my friend Suga Rim pointed out that most people just don’t have the same kinds of problems we do here in the homo headquarters of the world, including how to transform from Forget Fashion Ugliness to Decadent Disco Drag while on the go and under the gun.
I call that “just another Friday night in San Francisco,” and bringing it no matter what scene you might find yourself in. It’s a damn nice problem to have!
Coming up, my dilemma will be how to attend all of the following in the midst of the frenzied holiday season: the new Fag Fridays at Pink with DJ Quentin Harris on the 14th, Black XXXmas with DJ Abel & DJ Luke Johnstone at Factory and/or Supersonic Sundays at SF Underground on the 15th, Fresh with DJ Kimberly S at Ruby Skye and/or Thick with DJ Robbie Martin at Club Eight on the 16th, Heat at The Stud on the 21st, and the Christmas episodes of the Golden Girls.