There’s nothing a gay boy loves more than an only-in-San-Francisco event, and Up Your Alley is, well, right up my alley.
Leather, fetish, and BDSM have come a long way since this hard-core street festival began in 1985. Kink is hardly unique or hardly subversive anymore, but that doesn’t make it any less essential to the distinct and distinguished character of our beloved bay of pigs.
There may never be a time again when I’ll be one of just a handful of females daring to do Dore. That’s bittersweet, personally, for an old-school fag hag like me, but it’s also undeniable progress politically. There’s no longer actual risk associated with strutting SOMA in your chaps and nipple clamps, because sexual freedom is no longer a privilege, it’s our right. That’s a real reason to celebrate.
No matter what color hanky you flag, and no matter if your gear is actually just drag, set aside a day devoted to dancing, demos, and debauchery. Depravity is as much a source of pride for our community as anything with a rainbow on it, so rock out with your cock out!
That’s what I’ll be doing at all the Up Your Alley events, and I hope you’ll come play with me. I expect to see your ass, too, or I’ll paddle it until you beg for mercy. Out of respect for Dore, I’ll even leave the glitter at home!
Friday, July 17:
Happy Hour with DJ Christopher B
5:30-8:30pm at Lookout, 2600 16th Street @ Market
Tragically gorgeous flowers, legendary Diptyque smell, and the sound waves of Amasha & Mc Clure
BOC, 198 Church Street
$2, 2-for-1 Ketel One drinks until 12am
SMACK! Hosted by Juanita MORE! and Nathan Rapport of Detroit’s SASS
Featuring Detroit ex-pat Jason Kendig and Detroit tastemaker Chuck Hampton delivering a very potent shot of Detroit-style dance fun.
10pm-2am at Underground SF, 424 Haight Street, $5
The Endup, 6th & Harrison Streets
11pm-11am, always free before midnight
Saturday, July 18:
Michael Jackson Night at Club Gossip
Authentic 80s music and video in two rooms hosted by Randy Maupin, with a heavy dose of Michael Jackson between 11pm and midnight
9:30-3am at The Cat Club, 1190 Folsom Street, free before 10pm, $8 after
Sunday, July 19:
I’ll be celebrating my birthday on the gogo box at Fresh, my favorite T-dance. There’s an open invitation to spank me, which makes it the perfect warm-up for Dore!
Fresh with DJ Dan DeLeon
Benefiting the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
6pm-midnight at Ruby Skye, 420 Mason Street at Geary, $20 advance or before 6:30pm, $25 after
Tuesday, July 21:
Posh Tuesdays with Donna Sachet
5pm-7pm at Infusion Lounge, 124 Ellis Street
Bulb: Blockbuster, a Hagztravaghanza hosted by Precious Moments
An interdisciplinary spectacular of electrifying vocalists, titilating trannies, and burlesque. Dance your inspired ass off to classic NYC House beats, featuring the Original Fag Hag and her girl Joanna with bombastic gogo artistry.
11pm-3am at The Stud, 9th and Harrison Streets, $8
Friday, July 24:
Not an official Up Your Alley event, but the Cockettes are officially part of San Francisco’s sexual revolution, and this play celebrates their 40th anniversary, so come pay tribute (through August 16)…
Pearls over Shanghai – Starring Steven Satyricon and Precious Moments!
A comic mock-operetta about white slavery and miscegenation set in the colorful world of 1937 Shanghai.
The Hypnodrome, 575 10th Street
Saturday, July 25:
Twisted Nastier - Up Your Alley Eve
Filthy dirty gogo dancers (including myself, the Nasty Girl!) and heavy cruising.
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom Street between 9th and 10th
Bay of Pigs with DJ Ted Eiel & DJ Luis Cintron (in the dungeon)
Sexy dancers, demos, and play spaces galore.
10pm-4am at 181 Eddy Street, $40 advance/$50 door
Sunday, July 26:
Up Your Alley
The Folsom Street fair that’s not for tourists or gawkers.
11am-6pm on Dore Alley between Folsom and Howard Streets, and in the adjoining blocks of Folsom between 9th and Juniper Streets. $7 suggested donation
PLAY T-Dance with DJ Rob Kaftan
Flirt, Frolic, and Dance at the Up Your Alley T-Dance and Closing Party
5pm-midnight at DNA Lounge, 375 11th Street
$20 tickets available from a PLAY Pal (like me!), or $25 advance/$30 door