Bring It! October 30, 2009

I am not a lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with being lesbian, but my recent cruiseliner gaycation is making me suddenly feel the need to protest a little.

As one of 16 women on a floating bathhouse packed with 3,100 hot homos, my journey was quite eye-opening. Of course I can see exactly why there would be confusion and curiosity about what the hell I was doing on board.

The fact that I was sharing a cabin with my best girlfriend, dance partner, and circuit sister Joanna only added to the misperception. This despite the very clear signage I posted on our door explaining that we are gay men and San Fransexual drag queens, at least as much as anyone else on the dick deck.

I just couldn’t help but be surprised at how often we were unintentionally treated like circus freaks. Kind-hearted boys repeatedly introduced themselves by offering up that their lesbian sister/friend/neighbor would love us, or by offering to have children with us (ew!). Basically, it was “some of my best friends are lesbians” all over the place.

Totally understandable, and ultimately quite sweet, although it did get me to thinking about how difficult it is to leave behind the bubble of San Francisco (even to go on a big gay boat, which is only just barely a departure from San Francisco). The whole mistaken-lesbian-identity thing made me appreciate yet again how much I love living over the rainbow, where it’s much more rare that anyone puts my box in a box.

In San Francisco, we’re free to be you and me. We’re free to fly our freak flags high and proud, and we’re free to live anywhere and everywhere on the Kinsey Scale, and it doesn’t even have to be the same place day-to-day. Hell, we don’t even have to choose between being male and female in San Francisco, which is where I got off correcting so many seamen by insisting that I was a gay man just like them.

San Francisco has afforded me the privilege of losing all perspective when it comes to what’s gay or straight and where I fit in. The point is that I do fit in, and I’m so grateful to be that kind of freak.

In San Francisco, such ambiguity and fluidity isn’t just tolerated, it’s celebrated. That’s a beautiful thing, even if – sadly - it’s too chilly here for boys to rock Speedos around the clock like they do on the big gay boat.

Here’s where I’ll be getting my San Fransexual freak on coming up…

Friday, November 6:

Nasty: A Filthy Fun-raiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund
Special Night: Get your gothic leather glam on!
Nasty Girl Suzan Revah hosts; Nasty Boys play STICK IT IN!; Special performance by Glam Electro Pop Duo Ejector; with dirty dancing & dirty demos; free massage by Alex of Club EROS
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom, $5
www.powerhouse-sf.com

Saturday, November 7:

Bearracuda Underwear Party with DJ Pete Savas and Medic
Bears, cubs, and pups free massages, great tunes, tasty snacks, and friendly guys.
9pm-3am at Deco, 510 Larkin at Turk, $5/$7 after 10pm

AND

The Low Hat Saloon
An evening of dancing, drinks, and a spectacular show set in a mythical San Francisco Gold Rush era saloon, starring some of the world's top pro Latin/ballroom dancers, immediately following the California Dreaming Dancesport Festival.
7:30pm-midnight at The Hotel Whitcomb, 1231 Market Street
www.californiadreamingdancesport.com

Friday, November 13

Mister and Miss Gay Pageant: "Down the Rabbit Hole: A Night of Fairy Tales"
7pm doors/8pm pageant at Hotel Whitcomb, 1231 Market
$15 advance/$20 door, premium tables of 10 $250. Advance tickets at Marlenas, 488 Hayes
www.imperialcouncil sf.org

Sunday, November 15:

PLAY: Military Furlough T-Dance with DJ Ted Eiel
Flirt. Frolic. Dance. Sir!
Gear: CasualMilitary.Army.Navy.AirForce.Marine.CoastGuard
5pm-midnight at DNA Lounge, 375 11th Street
$20 advance tickets from PLAY-Pals, $25 advance tickets retail and online, $30 door
www.playtdance.com

Immediately followed by…

Thick with DJ Frank Wild
11pm-3am at Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, $10
www.eightsf.com