Bring It: January 8, 2010

Here’s to a new, as-of-yet unglitterized year!

Having survived the mary and gay of the holidaze makes me want to run for the nearest dancefloor, which is hardly a stretch for the Original Fag Hag, but it is one way of answering the question: How did I get so damn gay?

Boys often ask this of me and my fellow fruit-fly-on-the-front-lines-of-fag-haggery, Janine Shiota, and our short answer is because, once you go gay, you just can’t stay away.

Looking ahead at my gayer-than-gay calendar of events for the year, it’s flamingly obvious that the love and support and fabulous fun this community exchanges is more than just a day in the lifestyle, it’s an essential year-round endeavor.

I’ve already got big plans to get my gay on for MLK weekend and President’s Day weekend. Beyond that there’s Winter Party Miami (my first!), Irreverent Easter in Dolores Park (Hunky Jesus!), and then White Party Palm Springs. I thought I could resist the call of the desert this year, but I had to rethink given the white-hot DJs lined up, and then before we know it it’ll be Memorial Day and Pride, and I’ll be so deep in the glitter I won’t know what to do with myself until I can relax and unwind (ha!) on an Atlantis cruise somewhere.

Deep in the homo mix is where I feel most at home and at peace. The inclusive, accepting embrace of the community I lovingly call my San Framily is where I can truly ground myself by losing myself. Whether it’s at the club, or in drag, or in leather, or working for the cause, being so hella gay is the only way I know how to be, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

What gay goings-on are you most looking forward to this year and why? Tell me in your own words at www.lovemygays.com, or just stop by to check out all the many ways Janine and I love our gays.

Let's make this new decade the gayest one yet!

Bring It! December 11, 2009

Like the facets of a disco ball, a shiny new year offers a great way to reflect.

Like at an epic dance party, so much happens in a year that it’s hard to keep track while it’s happening. It’s only when you finally sit down and pop a bottle of champagne (woo hoo!) that you realize how much you’ve been through and how much better you are for it.

I’m reflecting on a huge year personally, and it ended with a bang at Black XXXmas, one of my favorite dance parties of the year. This time around, I got the living-the-dream pleasure of performing in between two of my favorite DJs, Luke Johnstone and Abel, and in between two of my dearest members of The Pussy Posse, Travis Creston and Joanna Parks.

A lot of people go to church on Christmas, and my going to the dancefloor instead isn’t that different. My fellow circuit queens feel me when I say that sometimes I’m convinced “god” is in what the DJ serves up, in that ecstatic moment when you hear a “hymn” that speaks to you and to exactly where you are in your life.

The “church music” the Pussy Posse performed to at Black XXXmas was a song called “Believe,” and it’s a perfect anthem for the true joy of being gay.

To be what ya wanna be
To go where ya need to go in life
To do the things you need to do for yourself
All ya gotta do is believe.

That’s as good as gospel for everything that makes San Francisco the best place on earth, a place where I feel proud to live, and blessed to bring it wherever and however the spirit moves me.

Do what ya wanna do
To do what ya need to do
To do all that will make you happy in your life
All ya gotta do is believe in yourself.

Where else can a girl be the gayest man she knows among all her beloved gays, perform at parties she lives to be at with all her beloved gays, and host fun parties that support the communities and causes of all her beloved gays?

I love my gays in so many ways I can’t even speak to them all here, and I want to know more about all the ways you love being gay, too. Please come to www.lovemygays.com!

Bring It! December 11, 2009

Like the facets of a disco ball, a shiny new year offers a great way to reflect.

Like at an epic dance party, so much happens in a year that it’s hard to keep track while it’s happening. It’s only when you finally sit down and pop a bottle of champagne (woo hoo!) that you realize how much you’ve been through and how much better you are for it.

I’m reflecting on a huge year personally, and it ended with a bang at Black XXXmas, one of my favorite dance parties of the year. This time around, I got the living-the-dream pleasure of performing in between two of my favorite DJs, Luke Johnstone and Abel, and in between two of my dearest members of The Pussy Posse, Travis Creston and Joanna Parks.

A lot of people go to church on Christmas, and my going to the dancefloor instead isn’t that different. My fellow circuit queens feel me when I say that sometimes I’m convinced “god” is in what the DJ serves up, in that ecstatic moment when you hear a “hymn” that speaks to you and to exactly where you are in your life.

The “church music” the Pussy Posse performed to at Black XXXmas was a song called “Believe,” and it’s a perfect anthem for the true joy of being gay.

To be what ya wanna be
To go where ya need to go in life
To do the things you need to do for yourself
All ya gotta do is believe.

That’s as good as gospel for everything that makes San Francisco the best place on earth, a place where I feel proud to live, and blessed to bring it wherever and however the spirit moves me.

Do what ya wanna do
To do what ya need to do
To do all that will make you happy in your life
All ya gotta do is believe in yourself.

Where else can a girl be the gayest man she knows among all her beloved gays, perform at parties she lives to be at with all her beloved gays, and host fun parties that support the communities and causes of all her beloved gays?

I love my gays in so many ways I can’t even speak to them all here, and I want to know more about all the ways you love being gay, too. Please come to www.lovemygays.com!

Bring It! November 27, 2009

Seeing San Francisco through the eyes of visitors is always an eye-opening experience. It’s great to be reminded of all the things we can take for granted here in Oz.

When a pair of dear friends arrived from Minneapolis to see “how real San Franciscans live” over the holidays, I was skeptical at first. Why not come for Pride or Folsom or something else uniquely San Franciscan in scale and scope?

But going out with them on what was supposedly “an off weekend” made me realize that there’s no such thing as an off weekend when you live over the rainbow. It’s a real gift. Even when half the city is out of town and the other half is staying home overeating and being underactive in a way that San Franciscans normally try to avoid, we still do things our own glittery way.

In the Midwest, the holidays probably aren’t celebrated with a leather-bar crawl or with big gay singalongs. Family feasts probably aren’t punctuated with nitrous charges and marijuana desserts. The seasonal soundtrack probably isn’t songs from the circuit or showtunes sung by drag queens.

Ritual and tradition are no less meaningful among San Framily than they are among our “real” families back at home. Getting to see that from the perspective of extended family visiting from the gay hinterlands makes me feel both blessed and blissed, the way holidays are supposed to make you feel but rarely actually do.

I was worried that my visitors wouldn’t see enough of “the real San Francisco,” but realness is exactly what’s worth celebrating in the city that sets the standard for how to do everything the gay way, and for how to add a little more gay to every day.

Bring It! November 13, 2009

Living in San Francisco gives me so many reasons to be thankful it’s ridiculous. It’s easily worth living beyond my means and living without sleep.

When counting my San Francisco blessings, freedom always comes to mind first, and then there’s our exceptional quality of life. We live large here in Oz, so large that it’s perfectly easy to forget there’s any other way to live.

Some San Franciscans aren’t so fortunate, and it’s important that we don’t forget them. Fortunately, our beautiful bubble by the bay offers countless ways to have big fun and give something big back to the community while doing it.

Enjoying a party and helping a cause aren’t mutually exclusive pursuits. Or they shouldn’t be, so I try to multitask in this way whenever possible. It’s really not hard, and there’s a bounty of rewards.

This Thanksgiving, I’m reflecting on how many ways this city allows me to get my glitter or leather or dance on in the name of altruism. Whether it’s Nasty, my filthy fun-raiser for AIDS Emergency Fund on first Fridays at the Powerhouse (come check it out on December 4!), or Real Bad, the closing party of the Folsom Street Fair that just gave away $150,000 to worthy beneficiaries, I’m continually humbled by how often a night on the town results in tangible support for San Franciscans that truly need our help.

Even my gig as a gogo dancer for Fresh ultimately amounts to shaking my ass for charity. On November 22 I’ll be working the box knowing that my “werk” is going to Maitri, which provides hospice care for people living with AIDS. Meanwhile, Maitri was one of Real Bad’s beneficiaries this year. That’s measurable impact, and all I’m doing is being the circuit sister I can’t help but be!

At Nasty, we play a game called STICK IT IN! that involves big giggles and small change (in Crisco cans) and results in a couple of grants each month for HIV/AIDS emergency assistance. Really? I get to throw myself at the men of the Powerhouse and call myself a fag hag philanthropist? That’s something to be extremely thankful for!

Let’s bring it to our common cause whenever and wherever we can this holiday season. It’s all about the giving, and trusting that, in San Francisco, we’re always getting more than we give.

Bring It! October 30, 2009

I am not a lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with being lesbian, but my recent cruiseliner gaycation is making me suddenly feel the need to protest a little.

As one of 16 women on a floating bathhouse packed with 3,100 hot homos, my journey was quite eye-opening. Of course I can see exactly why there would be confusion and curiosity about what the hell I was doing on board.

The fact that I was sharing a cabin with my best girlfriend, dance partner, and circuit sister Joanna only added to the misperception. This despite the very clear signage I posted on our door explaining that we are gay men and San Fransexual drag queens, at least as much as anyone else on the dick deck.

I just couldn’t help but be surprised at how often we were unintentionally treated like circus freaks. Kind-hearted boys repeatedly introduced themselves by offering up that their lesbian sister/friend/neighbor would love us, or by offering to have children with us (ew!). Basically, it was “some of my best friends are lesbians” all over the place.

Totally understandable, and ultimately quite sweet, although it did get me to thinking about how difficult it is to leave behind the bubble of San Francisco (even to go on a big gay boat, which is only just barely a departure from San Francisco). The whole mistaken-lesbian-identity thing made me appreciate yet again how much I love living over the rainbow, where it’s much more rare that anyone puts my box in a box.

In San Francisco, we’re free to be you and me. We’re free to fly our freak flags high and proud, and we’re free to live anywhere and everywhere on the Kinsey Scale, and it doesn’t even have to be the same place day-to-day. Hell, we don’t even have to choose between being male and female in San Francisco, which is where I got off correcting so many seamen by insisting that I was a gay man just like them.

San Francisco has afforded me the privilege of losing all perspective when it comes to what’s gay or straight and where I fit in. The point is that I do fit in, and I’m so grateful to be that kind of freak.

In San Francisco, such ambiguity and fluidity isn’t just tolerated, it’s celebrated. That’s a beautiful thing, even if – sadly - it’s too chilly here for boys to rock Speedos around the clock like they do on the big gay boat.

Here’s where I’ll be getting my San Fransexual freak on coming up…

Friday, November 6:

Nasty: A Filthy Fun-raiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund
Special Night: Get your gothic leather glam on!
Nasty Girl Suzan Revah hosts; Nasty Boys play STICK IT IN!; Special performance by Glam Electro Pop Duo Ejector; with dirty dancing & dirty demos; free massage by Alex of Club EROS
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom, $5
www.powerhouse-sf.com

Saturday, November 7:

Bearracuda Underwear Party with DJ Pete Savas and Medic
Bears, cubs, and pups free massages, great tunes, tasty snacks, and friendly guys.
9pm-3am at Deco, 510 Larkin at Turk, $5/$7 after 10pm

AND

The Low Hat Saloon
An evening of dancing, drinks, and a spectacular show set in a mythical San Francisco Gold Rush era saloon, starring some of the world's top pro Latin/ballroom dancers, immediately following the California Dreaming Dancesport Festival.
7:30pm-midnight at The Hotel Whitcomb, 1231 Market Street
www.californiadreamingdancesport.com

Friday, November 13

Mister and Miss Gay Pageant: "Down the Rabbit Hole: A Night of Fairy Tales"
7pm doors/8pm pageant at Hotel Whitcomb, 1231 Market
$15 advance/$20 door, premium tables of 10 $250. Advance tickets at Marlenas, 488 Hayes
www.imperialcouncil sf.org

Sunday, November 15:

PLAY: Military Furlough T-Dance with DJ Ted Eiel
Flirt. Frolic. Dance. Sir!
Gear: CasualMilitary.Army.Navy.AirForce.Marine.CoastGuard
5pm-midnight at DNA Lounge, 375 11th Street
$20 advance tickets from PLAY-Pals, $25 advance tickets retail and online, $30 door
www.playtdance.com

Immediately followed by…

Thick with DJ Frank Wild
11pm-3am at Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, $10
www.eightsf.com

Bring It! October 10, 2009

Going on a big gay cruise boat probably doesn’t sound like a vacation from San Francisco. It’s actually more like San Francisco on steroids, or on acid, or on the most perfect trail mix of party drugs.

Which means for this Original Fag Hag and self-proclaimed cruise director, it’s a sun-soaked slice of heaven. Blazing sunshine is really the only thing the “Dick Deck” has that San Francisco doesn’t have when it comes to a perfect gay world. Setting sail on an Atlantis cruise is like living in a biosphere where the only concerns are whether you have enough sunscreen on and what to wear to the next party.

Living in the bubble of San Francisco feels like gaycation a lot of the time. We work really hard to play really hard, but hedonism is really our full-time job. The rest of the gay world looks to us to set the standard!

On the boat, the hedonism is more intensified, and the agenda more compressed. Instead of 3 parties a weekend, it’s 3 parties a day, and instead of the occasional weekend in Speedos on Boy Beach, it’s a nonstop parade of underwear models in banana hammocks. It’s like a weeklong reality-show challenge, in which one’s skills as a homosexual are put to the ultimate test.

Coming home from a gay cruise ain’t pretty, even when you’re coming home to Oz. I’ll be back just in time for Halloween, a holiday that reminds me yet again how special San Francisco is. Costumes are practically our uniforms here over the rainbow, and there’s a pagan ritual going on somewhere every night of the week.

October 23

Queens Are Wild: StopAIDS Project and Elbow Grease invite you to roll the dice
A Halloween casino event and dance party, hosted by Bebe Sweetbriar, plus a special appearance by Kristine W
Casino games, pornstar dealers, and a costume contest from 8pm-midnight; dancing until 3am at Mezzanine, 444 Jesse Street at 5th, tickets start at $25
www.stopaids.org/queensarewild or 415.575.0150 x260

AND

GhettoDisco: DJ Hawthorne’s Birthday Bash, wth Shawn Perry & Cuervo
11pm-11am, featuring an extended crazy-funky afterhours set beginning at 2am, no cover before midnight
Endup, 6th and Harrison
www.theendup.com/events/ghettodisco.html

October 24

Pornstar returns with music by producer/remixer DJ Escape
Featuring Rascal Exclusive Jeremy Bildingmusic; Host Michael Brandon and Gogo studs Damian Rios, Race Cooper, and Darren Summers
With 2 floors and 3 bars of Manly Mayhem, with a Perky Booty contest in the 70s soul/disco lounge
9pm-3am at Club Eight, 1151 Folsom, $15 before midnight/$20 after

AND

Memory/Healing Party: HIV Era Veterans Celebration
Celebrate the everyday heroes who have survived and thrived in the HIV era, with music, dancing, workshops, and the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
1pm-5pm, War Memorial Veterans' Hall, 401 Van Ness, free
www.richtrove.com

October 25

Church: Celebrating 10 years of Our Love!
Go to church with Bebe Sweetbriar; Free brunch with soul food, old-school gospel, hip hop and R&B spun by DJ Olga T; special guest performances by the Black Men of the Castro Calendar, with dancing and mimosas
1pm-5pm at The Café, 2367 Market Street

October 26

Defying Inequality: A Celebrity Benefit for Marriage Equality at San Francisco Palace of the Fine Arts
Join the cast of Wicked San Francisco, Broadway stars, members of the San Francisco Arts Community, and a variety of celebrity guests for an evening of song and dance in support equal rights.
Entertainment includes Patty Duke, Bruce Vilanch, the Cast of Wicked San Francisco, Matt Alber, Clifford Banagale, Boylesque, Connie Champagne, Carmen Cusack, Ava Garter, Judy Gold, Selene Luna, Meg Mackay, Scott Matthew, Billy Philadelphia, Laughing Pizza, Empress XXX Donna Sachet, and Suzanne Whanghunter, Las Vegas).
7:30-9:30 pm VIP Reception (Show only, $100; Show and VIP Party, $250)
www.defyinginequality.com

October 31 – Halloween

Colossus: A Celebration of Lost Idols with DJ Manny Lehman
Major dead celebrity costume contest with cash prizes
10pm-4am, high atop the Metreon at the corner of 4th & Mission, $50 advance/$60 door
http://www.guspresents.com/colossushalloween
FOLLOWED BY: reLOAD Afterhours at 525 Howard with DJ Pornstar, $20 door

AND

Halloween: A Party! Presented by Trannyshack & Midnight Mass
Hosted by Heklina as "Dragula" & Peaches Christ as "Tran Helsing"; Featuring Putanesca, Holy McGrail, Lady Bear, and Syphilis Diller, Raya Light, Holotta Tymes, Cookie Dough and More; Co-Starring Jackie Beat, with DJs Pinky Ring & Silencefiction
9pm-3am, midnight show at The Cat Club, 1190 Folsom St. at 8th, $15 cover/$25 out of costume
www.trannyshack.com

AND

Big Top: A Homoween Disco Circus
With DJs Kevin Graves (NYC) and Marcus Boogie; a midnight show featuring Oxana Olsen, Miss Rahni and Tess Tickle; Juanita MORE’s annual Halloween costume contest; Booty Call portraits
9pm-3am at Club Ei8ht, 1151 Folsom, $10 door

AND

Social Club: Halloween Fun House with DJs Lee Decker, Luke Fry, Pornstar and Joshua J
Sideshow freaks, spectacular live acts, Ringmaster Hostess Lady Lumpia, Psycho Circus Clowns
9pm at Lookout, 16th and Market in the Castro

November 1

Come see the Original Fag Hag on the gogo box at:
Halloween Fresh with DJ/Producer Tony Moran – his Fresh debut!
Benefiting World Bike, 6pm-midnight at Ruby Skye, 420 Mason Street @ Geary, $20 advance/$25 door
www.freshsf.com

November 6:

Nasty: A Filthy Fun-raiser for the AIDS Emergency Fund
The Black Party: Get your leather goth on!
10pm-1am at The Powerhouse, 1347 Folsom, $5
Nasty Girl Suzan Revah hosts; Nasty Boys play STICK IT IN!; Special performance by Glam Electro Pop Duo Ejector; with dirty dancing & dirty demos; free massage by Alex of Club EROS
www.powerhouse-sf.com