Bring It! February 6, 2010

Some people read self-help books, but I seek wisdom in the divas of the dancefloor.

They serve up a message that’s sweepingly simple, yet seemingly specific, thumping a universal theme of self-empowerment to help you rise above it all.

The message that got me recently was a call to action: “Express Yourself.” With Valentine’s Day and the International Bear Rendezvous coming up, I got to thinking about all the ways I get to do just that, living here in Oz.

My big gay Valentine plan includes gogo dancing for my favorite charity (the AIDS Emergency Fund) at a leather bar (Chaps) on Saturday the 13th. I’m flattered by the company I’ll be keeping – Travis Creston, Race Cooper, Julian Marshburn – and they’ll provide “stiff” competition for who can bring in the most tips. I’ll be expressing myself hard to prove I deserve my spot in the lineup, and to win over the leathermen questioning the female on the gogo box.

Earlier that day is a video release party at The Midnight Sun at 3pm. The “First Sight of Red” video by Ejector - my favorite leather, glitter, goth band - is strikingly beautiful, and it paints a gorgeous portrait of gay San Francisco and the overflowing talent that expresses itself inside our bubble.

I’ll start Valentine’s Day worshiping at my “church,” Maria Stanford’s intensely zen yoga class at Gold’s Gym Castro. It’s where I process my messages from the dancefloor among the amazingly fit men that line up mat-to-mat to express themselves. A perfectly San Francisco exercise of enlightenment.

From there I’m going to see Justin Bond’s Closer to You at the Castro Theatre, my idea of family-friendly entertainment for my visiting mother. There will be Carpenters tunes and a 10-piece orchestra, and interludes from The Cockettes, a revival of one of San Francisco’s finest traditions of self-expression.

After hours I’m headed to Sanctuary, a party I never miss. It’ll be extra grrry and furry on IBR weekend, with chunk-house diva Ted Eiel at the decks. Dancing in the man-pit until dawn is my favorite way of all to express my true self, the fag hag who just can’t get enough of loving her gays in so many ways.

Sign up for my weekly email blast, the Cruise Director Alert, at www.originalfaghag.com, then meet me under the discoball to see what wisdom we can gain as we express ourselves.

Bring It! January 22, 2010

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Bring It: January 8, 2010

Here’s to a new, as-of-yet unglitterized year!

Having survived the mary and gay of the holidaze makes me want to run for the nearest dancefloor, which is hardly a stretch for the Original Fag Hag, but it is one way of answering the question: How did I get so damn gay?

Boys often ask this of me and my fellow fruit-fly-on-the-front-lines-of-fag-haggery, Janine Shiota, and our short answer is because, once you go gay, you just can’t stay away.

Looking ahead at my gayer-than-gay calendar of events for the year, it’s flamingly obvious that the love and support and fabulous fun this community exchanges is more than just a day in the lifestyle, it’s an essential year-round endeavor.

I’ve already got big plans to get my gay on for MLK weekend and President’s Day weekend. Beyond that there’s Winter Party Miami (my first!), Irreverent Easter in Dolores Park (Hunky Jesus!), and then White Party Palm Springs. I thought I could resist the call of the desert this year, but I had to rethink given the white-hot DJs lined up, and then before we know it it’ll be Memorial Day and Pride, and I’ll be so deep in the glitter I won’t know what to do with myself until I can relax and unwind (ha!) on an Atlantis cruise somewhere.

Deep in the homo mix is where I feel most at home and at peace. The inclusive, accepting embrace of the community I lovingly call my San Framily is where I can truly ground myself by losing myself. Whether it’s at the club, or in drag, or in leather, or working for the cause, being so hella gay is the only way I know how to be, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

What gay goings-on are you most looking forward to this year and why? Tell me in your own words at www.lovemygays.com, or just stop by to check out all the many ways Janine and I love our gays.

Let's make this new decade the gayest one yet!

Bring It! December 11, 2009

Like the facets of a disco ball, a shiny new year offers a great way to reflect.

Like at an epic dance party, so much happens in a year that it’s hard to keep track while it’s happening. It’s only when you finally sit down and pop a bottle of champagne (woo hoo!) that you realize how much you’ve been through and how much better you are for it.

I’m reflecting on a huge year personally, and it ended with a bang at Black XXXmas, one of my favorite dance parties of the year. This time around, I got the living-the-dream pleasure of performing in between two of my favorite DJs, Luke Johnstone and Abel, and in between two of my dearest members of The Pussy Posse, Travis Creston and Joanna Parks.

A lot of people go to church on Christmas, and my going to the dancefloor instead isn’t that different. My fellow circuit queens feel me when I say that sometimes I’m convinced “god” is in what the DJ serves up, in that ecstatic moment when you hear a “hymn” that speaks to you and to exactly where you are in your life.

The “church music” the Pussy Posse performed to at Black XXXmas was a song called “Believe,” and it’s a perfect anthem for the true joy of being gay.

To be what ya wanna be
To go where ya need to go in life
To do the things you need to do for yourself
All ya gotta do is believe.

That’s as good as gospel for everything that makes San Francisco the best place on earth, a place where I feel proud to live, and blessed to bring it wherever and however the spirit moves me.

Do what ya wanna do
To do what ya need to do
To do all that will make you happy in your life
All ya gotta do is believe in yourself.

Where else can a girl be the gayest man she knows among all her beloved gays, perform at parties she lives to be at with all her beloved gays, and host fun parties that support the communities and causes of all her beloved gays?

I love my gays in so many ways I can’t even speak to them all here, and I want to know more about all the ways you love being gay, too. Please come to www.lovemygays.com!

Bring It! December 11, 2009

Like the facets of a disco ball, a shiny new year offers a great way to reflect.

Like at an epic dance party, so much happens in a year that it’s hard to keep track while it’s happening. It’s only when you finally sit down and pop a bottle of champagne (woo hoo!) that you realize how much you’ve been through and how much better you are for it.

I’m reflecting on a huge year personally, and it ended with a bang at Black XXXmas, one of my favorite dance parties of the year. This time around, I got the living-the-dream pleasure of performing in between two of my favorite DJs, Luke Johnstone and Abel, and in between two of my dearest members of The Pussy Posse, Travis Creston and Joanna Parks.

A lot of people go to church on Christmas, and my going to the dancefloor instead isn’t that different. My fellow circuit queens feel me when I say that sometimes I’m convinced “god” is in what the DJ serves up, in that ecstatic moment when you hear a “hymn” that speaks to you and to exactly where you are in your life.

The “church music” the Pussy Posse performed to at Black XXXmas was a song called “Believe,” and it’s a perfect anthem for the true joy of being gay.

To be what ya wanna be
To go where ya need to go in life
To do the things you need to do for yourself
All ya gotta do is believe.

That’s as good as gospel for everything that makes San Francisco the best place on earth, a place where I feel proud to live, and blessed to bring it wherever and however the spirit moves me.

Do what ya wanna do
To do what ya need to do
To do all that will make you happy in your life
All ya gotta do is believe in yourself.

Where else can a girl be the gayest man she knows among all her beloved gays, perform at parties she lives to be at with all her beloved gays, and host fun parties that support the communities and causes of all her beloved gays?

I love my gays in so many ways I can’t even speak to them all here, and I want to know more about all the ways you love being gay, too. Please come to www.lovemygays.com!

Bring It! November 27, 2009

Seeing San Francisco through the eyes of visitors is always an eye-opening experience. It’s great to be reminded of all the things we can take for granted here in Oz.

When a pair of dear friends arrived from Minneapolis to see “how real San Franciscans live” over the holidays, I was skeptical at first. Why not come for Pride or Folsom or something else uniquely San Franciscan in scale and scope?

But going out with them on what was supposedly “an off weekend” made me realize that there’s no such thing as an off weekend when you live over the rainbow. It’s a real gift. Even when half the city is out of town and the other half is staying home overeating and being underactive in a way that San Franciscans normally try to avoid, we still do things our own glittery way.

In the Midwest, the holidays probably aren’t celebrated with a leather-bar crawl or with big gay singalongs. Family feasts probably aren’t punctuated with nitrous charges and marijuana desserts. The seasonal soundtrack probably isn’t songs from the circuit or showtunes sung by drag queens.

Ritual and tradition are no less meaningful among San Framily than they are among our “real” families back at home. Getting to see that from the perspective of extended family visiting from the gay hinterlands makes me feel both blessed and blissed, the way holidays are supposed to make you feel but rarely actually do.

I was worried that my visitors wouldn’t see enough of “the real San Francisco,” but realness is exactly what’s worth celebrating in the city that sets the standard for how to do everything the gay way, and for how to add a little more gay to every day.

Bring It! November 13, 2009

Living in San Francisco gives me so many reasons to be thankful it’s ridiculous. It’s easily worth living beyond my means and living without sleep.

When counting my San Francisco blessings, freedom always comes to mind first, and then there’s our exceptional quality of life. We live large here in Oz, so large that it’s perfectly easy to forget there’s any other way to live.

Some San Franciscans aren’t so fortunate, and it’s important that we don’t forget them. Fortunately, our beautiful bubble by the bay offers countless ways to have big fun and give something big back to the community while doing it.

Enjoying a party and helping a cause aren’t mutually exclusive pursuits. Or they shouldn’t be, so I try to multitask in this way whenever possible. It’s really not hard, and there’s a bounty of rewards.

This Thanksgiving, I’m reflecting on how many ways this city allows me to get my glitter or leather or dance on in the name of altruism. Whether it’s Nasty, my filthy fun-raiser for AIDS Emergency Fund on first Fridays at the Powerhouse (come check it out on December 4!), or Real Bad, the closing party of the Folsom Street Fair that just gave away $150,000 to worthy beneficiaries, I’m continually humbled by how often a night on the town results in tangible support for San Franciscans that truly need our help.

Even my gig as a gogo dancer for Fresh ultimately amounts to shaking my ass for charity. On November 22 I’ll be working the box knowing that my “werk” is going to Maitri, which provides hospice care for people living with AIDS. Meanwhile, Maitri was one of Real Bad’s beneficiaries this year. That’s measurable impact, and all I’m doing is being the circuit sister I can’t help but be!

At Nasty, we play a game called STICK IT IN! that involves big giggles and small change (in Crisco cans) and results in a couple of grants each month for HIV/AIDS emergency assistance. Really? I get to throw myself at the men of the Powerhouse and call myself a fag hag philanthropist? That’s something to be extremely thankful for!

Let’s bring it to our common cause whenever and wherever we can this holiday season. It’s all about the giving, and trusting that, in San Francisco, we’re always getting more than we give.